Love: Today, my estranged, psycho ex called me ten times and left belligerent...

By Wtf - 17/05/2017 22:00

Today, my estranged, psycho ex called me ten times and left belligerent messages because I didn't send him anything for his birthday yesterday like I used to. This is the same man who never gave me a birthday gift, text, or even a Happy Birthday wish during our 7 years together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 704

You deserved it 414

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By crazytown - 10/04/2014 15:50 - United States - Denver

Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 381

You deserved it 4 682

By Plume - 23/12/2008 07:43 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 650

You deserved it 2 474

Oh, by the way…

By PaulieD - 19/10/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I received a "Happy Birthday" text from my ex. I thought maybe she missed me, but when I replied with a polite, "Thank you," they responded with "Sorry, wrong person. However, fuck you." Ouch. Happy birthday to me, indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 178

The one that got away

By Anonymous - 25/09/2019 18:00 - United States

Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 158

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 16/06/2013 16:14 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 571

You deserved it 3 377

By aerythia - 08/12/2012 16:12 - United States - Nashville

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 681

You deserved it 5 519

By LonelyAF - 12/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 407

You deserved it 4 346

By misswhiskers - 28/02/2011 11:21 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 087

You deserved it 3 368

Parenting team

By Anonymous - 15/12/2021 05:01

Today, my ex sent me a string of abusive texts about forgetting our daughter's birthday. I have no idea when her birthday is because she left me while pregnant and never told me the date, plus she is 3 and I’ve never met her because the police can’t find where they live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 055

You deserved it 140

Ironic

By happy21sttome - 15/06/2015 13:39 - United Kingdom

Today, after five years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to six angry texts about how I'm "selfish" for not staying at home with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 394

You deserved it 2 417

lilfuzzy 10

Wednesday 17 May 2017 22:18

happy birthday! here's your gift! Its a restraining order.....

Winchesterbride 9

Wednesday 17 May 2017 22:11

how did you stay that long though?

Comments

Winchesterbride 9

Wednesday 17 May 2017 22:11

how did you stay that long though?

lilfuzzy 10

Wednesday 17 May 2017 22:18

happy birthday! here's your gift! Its a restraining order.....

ayyy_bro 26

Wednesday 17 May 2017 22:43

Or you could just change your number and get on with your life?

sweetbliss3 37

Friday 19 May 2017 3:40

blocking is simpler and without the hassle.

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 17 May 2017 22:49

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear psycho ex-boyfriend. Happy birthday to you.

Druu 53

Wednesday 17 May 2017 22:54

Happy Birthday, you crazy nut job! Here's that restraining order you always wanted! Try it on! Don't worry if it's an exact fit -- I can't even tell from 500 yards away!

Druu 53

Wednesday 17 May 2017 23:57

not* an exact fit, obviously. Bring back the edit button!

itsameeeekatrino 5

Wednesday 17 May 2017 23:07

maybe they have kids together or something

RinoaHeartilly 36

Thursday 18 May 2017 8:10

That wouldn't matter.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 17 May 2017 23:51

You should have sent him a warm bag of dogshit, just to let him know you hadn't forgotten him completely.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Thursday 18 May 2017 0:27

Block him and don't respond. Selfish people tend to act entitled. Your ex sounds like a narcissist.

Regulate 21

Thursday 18 May 2017 2:09

He's a butt.

DanielleinDC 33

Thursday 18 May 2017 21:18

He never got you a gift, and you stuck with him for seven years? That said, block the guy's number. And if he calls you from other numbers, restraining order.