Health, Healthy Lifestyle, Gross, Weird and Awkward: Mr Clean

Mr Clean

By Jenn - 18/08/2021 09:59

Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 131

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Same thing different taste

Confinement, episode 3774

By S3XY_SiNG3R - 11/04/2020 02:00

Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 2 067

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 943

You deserved it 3 245

By Anonymous - 30/01/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Dukinfield

Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 301

You deserved it 2 136

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 348

By Rella - 15/12/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 030

You deserved it 1 307

By poop towel - 15/09/2011 19:43 - United States

Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 629

You deserved it 2 237

Goldfinger

By Anonymous - 24/07/2020 02:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 188

Are you OK?

By FUCKING IDIOT - 09/11/2023 04:00

Today, my boyfriend yet again bought paper towels instead of toilet paper. I screamed myself hoarse at him, and told him to go get some toilet paper before I killed us both. He came back with coffee filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 825

By Anonymous - 15/06/2015 02:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 680

You deserved it 2 410

By msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 961

You deserved it 13 378

Nikki 17

Wednesday 18 August 2021 11:45

Run

rayraysoto 10

Wednesday 18 August 2021 12:30

Run Away and fast

Comments

diraven 15

Thursday 19 August 2021 4:47

The creepy log cabin so deep in the woods that no one can hear you scream should have been your first clue.

sweetpotato 12

Thursday 19 August 2021 6:30

*Simon Cowell voice* it's a no from me

mccuish 25

Thursday 19 August 2021 6:47

My friends used to do this. I refused to so take a shit while hanging out with them. I had to go to a subway down the street while walking home

Sonotsuave 35

Friday 20 August 2021 5:53

EXIT LEFT

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

Today, I was grocery shopping when a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mommy, look! It's the man from the cereal box!" I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, after two months of being apart from my wife of five years, who'd returned to Panama to deal with a family issue, she innocently slips into conversation that she’s been hanging out with her high school boyfriend. When challenged, she responded, “You get to see me all the time!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 106

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 440

You deserved it 3 475

Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm "a self-absorbed bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 697

You deserved it 8 945

Today, I finished installing a brand new engine in my old car. It cost just over $6000. Later, I was waiting at a red light and an uninsured drunk driver smashed into it head on. It's completely totaled. I got to drive it 5 miles. The car is worth $1000, even with a new engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 283

You deserved it 4 408

Today, I walked into a glass door at the mall because I thought it was automatic. It wasn’t. The make up smudge from my face is now part of the door's Christmas decor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 386

Today, my two cats, who I'm slowly easing into being together, seem to like the fight they had yesterday. My older cat goes to my new cat's room to mew until I open the door, then lunges at my new cat, and my new cat goes to the barrier until he sees my old cat, and they start their shenanigans again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 211