Love, Kids and Birthday: "My Wife" in a Borat voice - FML

"My Wife" in a Borat voice

By Anonymous - 21/04/2023 00:00

Today, for my birthday, my wife gave me a "day to myself", except less than 20 minutes after I woke up it was, "could I quickly drive her to an appointment?", and "can we do a quick grocery shop?", and, "the kids need this and that." At bedtime, she asked me how I’d enjoyed my day to myself, seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 172

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Same thing different taste

Best birthday ever!

By IHateMyLife - 01/02/2021 08:01

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 292

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 164

By Anonymous - 07/05/2013 12:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 172

You deserved it 9 687

Partyblocked

By story of my life - 07/03/2022 02:00

Today, it's my birthday. I'd asked my mom weeks ago if she could watch my kids, so my husband and I could go celebrate. She told me an hour before we were supposed to leave I'd have to reschedule, so she could watch my brother's kids while he goes out for fun. Gee, thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 104

Man caver

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 18:00

Today, my wife screamed, cried, called me lazy and a bad parent, and threatened to leave and take our four kids. All I did was ask for an hour to myself every day for some private time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 1 182

Having fun?

By Anonymous - 21/05/2022 02:00

Today, on my birthday night, my husband decided to book a trip for himself to go on a solo trip, leaving me with the kids. Instead of hanging out with us and celebrating, he's yelling at our son to leave him alone so he can finish booking the airfare and car rental. Great birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 138

Introverts can relate

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, all that I wanted for my birthday was for someone else to pick out a cake flavor, and to spend the day alone. I've been asked ten times what kind of cake I want, and my husband took a off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 418

It's my special day

By I give up - 03/06/2022 02:00 - South Africa - Kimberley

Today, for the third day in a row, my wife is bitching about her terrible birthday. She had messages wishing her a happy birthday from her friends instead of actual calls. Also, she knew that my pay comes in the day after, and she agreed to go shopping with me, as opposed to a present on the day. She is 54, going on 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 271

By Deaf Dumb & Blonde - 01/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 532

You deserved it 2 213

Plans

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 02:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex asked me to take the kids for the day, which was odd as it's her weekend. My son let slip that she was getting ready for a surprise birthday party, but I wasn't supposed to know. As it's my birthday in 3 days, I was touched that she'd planned something. Turns out it's a surprise party for her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 491

Next

Top comments

Yudith 24

Friday 21 April 2023 3:04

Looks like your wife needs "a day to herself".

Brightside86 30

Monday 24 April 2023 6:07

Dude, this is what you signed on for when you got married and had a kid, YDI x a million.

Comments

Yudith 24

Friday 21 April 2023 3:04

Looks like your wife needs "a day to herself".

Brightside86 30

Monday 24 April 2023 6:07

Dude, this is what you signed on for when you got married and had a kid, YDI x a million.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Wanker Halloween Lonely Love Party Jealousy Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks YouTube TikTok Dogs Cute Work AITA

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