By CorCelesti - 02/06/2014 14:00 - United States

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML
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Top comments

ThatOneGuy719 16

Congratulations! And hopefully your husband sees things differently than your father

229 3
mpkpm 19

Could of been worse, could have been "The first person the police investigate in murder is the spouse. Tells you something about marriage."

204 5

Comments

ThatOneGuy719 16

Congratulations! And hopefully your husband sees things differently than your father

229 3
traviscool 12

commenting on an fml doesn't make you famous, if this is the case i'm now famous!

47 3
cakefete2 30

Omg it's you! Can i get your autograph?

32 3
ThatOneGuy719 16

Who would've thought that fml would make me famous :O I'm only signing for the first 45 minutes, better hurry

36 1
incoherentrmblr 21

Did your husband's grandma try to start a fist fight with you?...

6 2
Wakachulak 22

OP, did your husband's grandmother try to start a fight with you?

1 6
doggiewoggie 13

I bet he'll be sleeping on the couch tonight for that one lol. Don't take it too hard OP. Dads will be dads. And congrats by the way

95 39
mario2012 18

Why would OP be sleeping on the couch? Would the dad be if anyone?

3 41
doggiewoggie 13

Maybe you need to reread what I said... The OPs dad is the one who will be sleeping on the couch for the shitty remark...

28 4
doggiewoggie 13

It's all good

13 3
mpkpm 19

Could of been worse, could have been "The first person the police investigate in murder is the spouse. Tells you something about marriage."

204 5
Miss_Whipped 43

I can tell that this will be my favorite comment.

24 4
Dswank620 18

#3, I believe I see a fellow Ifunny user

51 5
soulebelius 17

How do you use "could of" and "could have" in the same post???

22 0
Dswank620 18

That line is practically quoted straight out of a recent ifunny feature, I was under the impression that there was a direct correlation between the two

4 1
mpkpm 19

As for number #68, I am very talented and felt like showing off my skill. As for #71, I was unaware, I have known this joke for years as my dad told it to me once younger. Suppose it did differ from normal dad jokes.

6 1
Dswank620 18

Ahh I see, and I've had some pretty odd dad jokes told to me too so I definitely get it haha

3 1
annie_nk 22

Was he drinking? Because I'd hate to think he said this sober.

24 39
inner_peace 19

Why does this have so many down votes?

7 10
invadermaythe1st 35

Because OP would clearly state that he was drunk, if he was.

4 8
Peachy2392 26

The OP doesn't necessarily have to include that information. If OP posts a follow up, she may say if he was or wasn't drunk.

8 2
drivingmissdaisy 13

And I mean he really could have been joking also. I have a lot of family members like that. @52

4 1
noobienick 19

Hey, at least it wasn't "when the red river flows, take the dirt road"

118 10
cakefete2 30

Yea that kind of just grossed me out.

30 4
d4m4s74 12

Yeah, a true sailor also sails the red sea

8 1
PeartOfNeils 18

Just don't forget to "share the load"

18 4
iSativa 24

Gold wedding bands get heavier over time?? I need to get married and stay loyal for 100 years so that I can make a fortune!

12 37
Pleonasm 35

You'd probably be dead in 100 hundred years' time.

32 2
Welshite 39

I'd say there's a statistical certainty of death within 10,000 years. No "probably" about it.

17 2
Pleonasm 35

Well we were talking about 100 and not 10,000. And I wouldn't make bets either way for the next 10,000 years as maybe in 50 years we'll discover immortality ;)

12 4
KristaAaronn 25

8 I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or if you're really that dim

2 24
cakefete2 30

No, he was being dead serious. Just to be clear, I'm not being sarcastic either.

25 2
iSativa 24

All replies to my comment are prime examples of why many people have lost faith in humanity. The first half of my comment was overly obvious sarcasm, and the second half was advice. Please use your brain and think before you reply.

3 16
OysterPearls 33

Argument overruled for use of "lost faith in humanity". I sentence you to live burial (of thumbs)!!

2 8
FitForFun 11

Could of been worse, could of been "**** her right in the pussy"

23 52
paigexox0 37

Why the absolute complete **** would a dad even say that about his daughter

55 2
sehrgutmann 19

judging by the FMLs I've read in the past, some fathers might actually do that.

17 2
griggypop 4

I'm sorry #9 (and everyone else), I know no one here is too much of a stickler for language and I do bite my tongue often as the down votes damage my sense of self worth. It's "could have", "would have" or "could've", "would've" in the contracted form. I let #3 slide on by but my tongue was about to start bleeding.

15 4
Sabsnation 12

Someone needs to have a word with their father.

12 5