Money, Kids, Porn and Blackmail: Nice try, kiddo - FML

Nice try, kiddo

By Anonymous - 12/07/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my 9 year-old son actually thought he could blackmail me for money and an Xbox with a very badly photoshopped picture of me in bed with Hermione from the Harry Potter films. My wife thinks this is hilarious, but I’m worried if he’s doing this at 9, what will he be doing at 18? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 485

You deserved it 240

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

The next generation

By Rosemary’s Vlogger - 07/01/2022 20:01

Today, my son announced he wants to be a YouTuber, and wants to make videos of himself doing violent things to pregnant women. He’s 9. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 365

By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 23:02 - United States - Queen Creek

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 498

You deserved it 33 571

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 02:00

Spicy

Today, my son walked in on me masturbating. Now, whenever I don't do whatever he wants, he blackmails me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 2 140

Terrible troll

By ShitStirringSon - 15/08/2013 02:02 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 113

You deserved it 7 274

By Anonymous - 11/01/2012 20:08 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 358

You deserved it 7 502

They're indoctrinating our children… with pranks!

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 23:37 - United States

Today, my eight year-old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mindfucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 476

You deserved it 3 935

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 27/10/2012 19:28 - Germany - Nuremberg

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 575

You deserved it 38 620

By cahsecuel - 14/08/2014 20:44 - France - Grisolles

Spicy

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 651

You deserved it 7 137

Prepare to be dumped

By Anonymous - 23/04/2021 13:03 - Panama - Cuba

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend blackmailed me for nudes. When I told his mother, he convinced her it was a joke, and both were laughing at me for being "paranoid". He now wants me to apologise for "ruining his day". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 209

By Anonymous - 23/09/2015 15:48 - United States - Bedminster

Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 418

You deserved it 4 330

Next

Top comments

spinningrecords 14

Tuesday 12 July 2022 23:44

I would hook him up with a cardboard box with an X, then fill it up with fake money

JasonThorn 20

Wednesday 13 July 2022 4:10

By the look of it, he'll be doing TIME...

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 12 July 2022 23:34

Deepfake videos.

spinningrecords 14

Tuesday 12 July 2022 23:44

I would hook him up with a cardboard box with an X, then fill it up with fake money

Anderling 32

Wednesday 13 July 2022 0:17

This is extremely worrying. Maybe therapy might help? Or at least work out wtf is wrong

JasonThorn 20

Wednesday 13 July 2022 4:10

By the look of it, he'll be doing TIME...

SirEnigM0nk 22

Wednesday 13 July 2022 18:41

Or the cover of TIME Magazine.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 16 July 2022 20:11

That's a major red flag. The kid's got the skillset to become a master manipulator... or politician.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Halloween Lonely Wanker Jealousy Love Party Fight Argument Family Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings TikTok Pranks YouTube Cute Dogs AITA Work

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how 2 girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend says, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he said, he hesitantly added "…if I was single." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 638

You deserved it 486

Today, my dad's last words before he fell into a coma, and later died, were about how he wanted to stick his face in the ass of his 20-something nurse and motorboat her cheeks. I had to lie to my mother and say that his last words were that he wanted to see her again before the end. Thanks dad, NOT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 194

The Top

Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML

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You deserved it 4 186

Today, I went to the hairdressers for a quick cut and wash. I didn't expect my ear to be included in it. FML

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Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 934

You deserved it 3 174

Today, I had to explain to another person that my cat is not morbidly obese, he just looks really fat when he lays down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 181

Today, I was mowing the lawn while wearing gym shorts. Because I had no pockets, I tucked my phone into the waistband of my shorts. I didn't notice my phone had slipped until the lawnmower started making an awful sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 295

You deserved it 22 515

Today, my girlfriend was griping to me about being late for work. When I pointed out that she wouldn’t be late if she didn’t rely on someone else for a ride, she bitched me out about being “unsympathetic.” Did I mention she refused to learn to drive? FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 194