Love: Nostradamus

Nostradamus

By Clueless - 14/05/2011 23:35 - United States

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my 4 year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 601

You deserved it 4 438

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By GumStickExtraGmail - 14/09/2017 17:30 - United States - Arvada

Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 718

You deserved it 625

Revelations

By ed5509 - 25/12/2021 22:59 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 111

By segal1010 - 28/02/2013 00:27 - United States - Potomac

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 889

You deserved it 4 300

By mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 278

You deserved it 6 689

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 654

You deserved it 3 132

New phone, who dis?

By Raleigh - 13/10/2024 16:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 121

Way to be creepy

By Shoe - 27/02/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 943

You deserved it 40 177

By AnnoyedByFriends - 08/08/2013 04:43

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 738

You deserved it 9 703

By auraya1985 - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 354

You deserved it 1 890

By gangstalicious - 08/05/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 300

You deserved it 13 570

MissAwesomeness 4

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:25

damn kids are so truthful. fyl. sorry.

aaronmk 7

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:25

she must be one clever little girl

Comments

newzealandkiwi 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:50

If he has a girlfriend can i be your boyfriend.?jk FYL thou.

indistructo 3

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:53

wait a second... wat did she stumble on to find this 

tahvoh 3

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:54

you should get yourself a boyfriend too! XD

missworthless 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:55

I think cheating is a very good reason for a divorce. Unless you enjoy being walked all over, being made a laughing stock, and possibly catching STDs from your cheating husband. Some things are forgivable and are worth trying to work through. Some are not. In my opinion, cheating isn't acceptable, period.

khaya 9

Sunday 15 May 2011 11:11

"Mommy loves alone with me, now".

khaya 9

Sunday 15 May 2011 12:05

lives

chino627 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 11:18

who are u the wife or the girlfriend??

Sawako7 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 13:42

Obviously, she's the wife...

justsomgirl 4

Sunday 15 May 2011 18:04

Why obviously?

Fr3nChii 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 12:03

divorce hizx asx & muv on! you wiL find betta!

OCDC 9

Sunday 15 May 2011 14:18

Are you speaking English?

ziepher 3

Sunday 15 May 2011 12:08

If your daughter is 5, then it's likely that you've got enough of your life left to go find that love you deserve. I wish I could say the same for him but cheating scumbags who have to pay alimony often have a harder time getting into new relationships, upside?....Just sayin.

cdpeterson87_fml 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 12:51

ydi...anyone who's ever dealt with cell phone companies would know the only way they can legally give you printouts of actual texts is through subpoena...they only can advise of numbers texted not the words.