Miscellaneous: Not now, Dave - FML

Not now, Dave

By randomdude3890 - 11/02/2015 04:58 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 340

You deserved it 38 137

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Same thing different taste

Bad sign

By ITalkGood - 28/12/2009 00:37 - France

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 786

You deserved it 10 024

By Gus - 30/11/2012 19:30 - Canada - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 311

You deserved it 4 997

By Anonymous - 29/12/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 171

You deserved it 38 729

By Jeff G. - 23/01/2012 00:31 - United States

Today, I had to send a picture of my Grandma at her funeral to my girlfriend, because she thought I was out cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 645

You deserved it 5 900

By familyhatesme - 18/07/2014 16:30 - United States - Kingston

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 519

You deserved it 7 927

By kingmetal42 - 09/02/2010 19:10 - France

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 981

You deserved it 27 874

By Anonymous - 13/10/2013 16:20 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 820

You deserved it 4 908

Just ignore it!

By nothing like tasty asshole - 26/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her delicious casserole tonight. Only after sending, I realized that "casserole" had auto corrected to "asshole". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 846

You deserved it 596

Sorry seems to be the harshest word

By Anonymous - 23/10/2021 11:00 - United States - Boone

Today, my girlfriend has yelled at me multiple times for saying sorry too much. It's involuntary, due to me constantly being told I never do anything right growing up by my parents. She knows this, and is even then one who helped me realize this, and still yells at me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 169

By Not Supportive - 19/05/2019 16:06

Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous so I, not thinking, made comments that included the words "killing", "dying" and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 524

You deserved it 572

Next

Top comments

RobinGoodfellow 47

Wednesday 11 February 2015 11:12

There's a difference between caring about grammar and being a dick about it. Learn some manners.

Miss_Chevious 37

Wednesday 11 February 2015 11:09

this comment is really going to get on you're nerve

Comments

NH_Freelancer 19

Wednesday 11 February 2015 23:00

I am a grammar nazi myself. However, I have managed to temper it with empathy; a quality you may need to develop.

dc2fresh 15

Wednesday 11 February 2015 23:04

know the limts

dcats 13

Wednesday 11 February 2015 23:10

Ouch, that's really not the time my friend

tj4234 35

Wednesday 11 February 2015 23:34

The biggest irony is that this FML lacks proper punctuation. Still though, bit of a horrible thing to do to your girlfriend...

sirrubberduckie 35

Thursday 12 February 2015 1:50

It doesn't, though.

679melega 2

Thursday 12 February 2015 0:20

Seems you care more about grammar than you did about grandma.

thecrazymancan 17

Thursday 12 February 2015 1:46

This is why everyone should learn Lojban! D:< Its grammar is much simpler!

janfleury 19

Thursday 12 February 2015 2:45

Roses (or her fav flowers), something shiny, and lots of groveling may get you out of the doghouse in a week or two.......maybe. Good luck op.

callmeanything 15

Thursday 12 February 2015 3:16

You should be careful when you corrected her. She's been going through tough things and you should comfort her instead of correcting her that time. Wrong timing.

dansco 24

Thursday 12 February 2015 4:41

Time and place! Remember that...

feven 32

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:38

Girl: And I'm just. Oh god I'm just so sad. OP: Do you mind completing your first sentence? It didn't have a verb. Girl: But- OP: Please don't start that sentence with a conjugation.

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The Top

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 375

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 3 619

You deserved it 571

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 714

You deserved it 13 715

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I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 99

Today, I said hi to my coworker and she immediately yelled, "Get your gross unwashed hands out of my face!" I wash my hands compulsively and they were nowhere near her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 96

Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 577

You deserved it 2 465

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 55 375