Intimacy: Oh, so cute

Oh, so cute

By Anonymous - 10/04/2013 04:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 961

You deserved it 13 221

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Same thing different taste

By Juiced - 26/09/2012 18:46 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 528

You deserved it 3 383

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 012

You deserved it 6 223

WTF dude?

By lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 140

You deserved it 8 543

Cockblocked

By AudreyUs - 10/12/2008 19:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 716

You deserved it 18 485

By Pissedoff777 - 12/08/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 396

You deserved it 7 885

By juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 536

You deserved it 4 502

Anticlimax

By Anonymous - 11/05/2022 12:00

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a sex store for the first time, and bought $100 worth of stuff. Not only did we not have sex, but I was up all night throwing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 200

By frustrated - 17/08/2013 22:56 - Ireland - Killarney

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 145

You deserved it 7 410

By angelisa - 21/11/2015 14:54 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 738

You deserved it 3 933

By onething - 08/07/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 886

You deserved it 17 942

RensM 22

Wednesday 10 April 2013 12:17

At least he has a great sense of humour!

BRLHP 24

Wednesday 10 April 2013 12:18

Sounds kinky.

Comments

countrygal13 3

Saturday 1 June 2013 9:31

I would die from laughing!

AwkGirl 9

Wednesday 3 July 2013 10:34

Um, kink or joke gone wrong?

BlackRoseUmbra 3

Friday 23 August 2013 4:10

That one's a keeper.

Wittster42 3

Wednesday 5 February 2014 6:44

Thats quite funny and it sounds like something my bf would say.

Mortoli 30

Saturday 8 February 2014 19:43

Where's a like button when you need it lol

MarindaCupcake 4

Friday 4 April 2014 7:17

Once me and my boyfriend went to CVS and bought 2 packs of handcuffs and a pack of family-sized condoms. The cashier was mortified.

Funkshin 5

Monday 24 August 2015 8:10

family-sized condoms thats hilarious

Irakli_1 27

Monday 26 May 2014 17:35

funny guy

rorex 26

Tuesday 8 March 2016 5:25

This isn't an fml, that's funny! I'd keep him.

thegayestgay 3

Thursday 11 August 2016 18:59

at first I thought it said all over the bodies and I was like ur lucky you didn't get the cops called on you

Keywords

Embarrassing Accident Work Health Relatable LGBTQIA+ Love Annoying AITA Inappropriate Relationship advice My ex Animals Cute Cats Friends Awkward Cars Transportation Dogs Money Scams Miscellaneous Kids Family Drugs Public freakouts Intimacy Sex Cheating

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