Intimacy: Oh, so cute

Oh, so cute

By Anonymous - 10/04/2013 04:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 968

You deserved it 13 222

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Same thing different taste

By Juiced - 26/09/2012 18:46 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 528

You deserved it 3 384

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 014

You deserved it 6 223

WTF dude?

By lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 143

You deserved it 8 543

Cockblocked

By AudreyUs - 10/12/2008 19:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 719

You deserved it 18 487

By Pissedoff777 - 12/08/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 398

You deserved it 7 885

By juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 540

You deserved it 4 503

Anticlimax

By Anonymous - 11/05/2022 12:00

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a sex store for the first time, and bought $100 worth of stuff. Not only did we not have sex, but I was up all night throwing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 200

By frustrated - 17/08/2013 22:56 - Ireland - Killarney

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 146

You deserved it 7 411

By angelisa - 21/11/2015 14:54 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 744

You deserved it 3 933

By onething - 08/07/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 892

You deserved it 17 946

RensM 22

Wednesday 10 April 2013 12:17

At least he has a great sense of humour!

BRLHP 24

Wednesday 10 April 2013 12:18

Sounds kinky.

Comments

Musically_Gifted_fml 3

Friday 12 April 2013 4:21

We need to make a "Your life is awesome" option

gamegeek42 6

Friday 12 April 2013 20:23

Lmao thats not an fml! He has a good sense of humor!

Lucky7Samson 10

Saturday 13 April 2013 0:15

Your boyfriend is epic. He deserves a girl with a better sense of humor.

theleahsaurus 7

Monday 15 April 2013 14:32

Haha id love it if my boyfriend did that! Itd make check out less awkward :)

SynysterNero 20

Tuesday 16 April 2013 3:49

Why can't the customers at my job be that much fun?

zebraowl 8

Tuesday 16 April 2013 23:14

Sounds like a funny guy to me , I wouldnt be embarrassed .

theleahsaurus 7

Wednesday 17 April 2013 23:57

How long have you been dating?

weirder_than_you 11

Thursday 18 April 2013 21:57

Is your BF gay , by and ****** chance?

samimcCune 15

Saturday 20 April 2013 11:48

oranges are my favorite fruit but i'm sitting here trying to not think about the pain your genitals would be in from all the acidity in oranges. maybe i'm wrong but that sounds like a bad idea for anything below the belt. also speaking from the experience of having pepper spray on my nether regions, i wouldn't even want to take the risk of finding out. no matter how much i love oranges.