Intimacy: Proof

Proof

By misoranomegami - 21/06/2014 02:48 - United States

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 776

You deserved it 16 361

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Same thing different taste

By bottomdrawerraider - 17/11/2010 17:13 - United States

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 061

You deserved it 12 201

Spyware

By Anonymous - 26/06/2009 01:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 826

You deserved it 10 932

Alone time

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 14:00

Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the end, my cat jumped up on the bed, saw the movement under the blanket and immediately pounced on my downstairs, puncturing certain delicate areas with his claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 334

By djoe - 28/10/2010 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 898

You deserved it 6 323

By Heather - 26/06/2012 17:13 - United States - Newport News

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 506

You deserved it 12 747

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 981

You deserved it 53 801

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 187

You deserved it 2 060

Banned

By Helen - 22/03/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom

Today, while showing my mum how to make a TikTok, she not only found the masturbation video I made to send to my husband while he’s away for work, she accidentally managed to post it to TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 1 500

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 850

You deserved it 238

By Anonymous - 28/11/2016 06:34

Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 414

You deserved it 1 582

Juicenub 25

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:53

Hopefully the video won't shake things up.

AlwaysWatching 27

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:53

Did your mom not notice that? That would be awkward having a video of your room shown around anyway....

Comments

cpmagma 15

Saturday 21 June 2014 22:25

and the crazy cat lady begins lol

BrainStew27 12

Saturday 21 June 2014 22:41

Could have been worse. After I read the first sentence I was worried something had happened to the cat.

tuffer 3

Saturday 21 June 2014 23:15

insert pussy pun here.

jetsfan204 4

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:12

Looks like that's not the only pussy that vibrator is gonna touch!!

TyChief 8

Sunday 22 June 2014 2:03

lol kitty strikes again

drshn 22

Sunday 22 June 2014 2:37

pussy on a vibrator, well life is cyclic, I guess.

Nessco 36

Sunday 22 June 2014 3:03

This is why you must always put the toys away when you've finished with them.

NodakN8V 25

Sunday 22 June 2014 6:29

It's the "other" kind of cat toy

maggiefox 25

Sunday 22 June 2014 7:37

Facebook :)

katthompson 7

Sunday 22 June 2014 7:49

That's horrible. :( I would be so embarrassed....

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 266

You deserved it 3 608

Today, two days after sending her flowers for Valentine's Day, my dream girl asked me on a date. She didn't show up. Her boyfriend did though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 264

You deserved it 10 793

Today, thanks to too many true crime podcasts and shows, my wife has lost her marbles. She now insists we use code names for our kids while out in public, so that no predators will hear their real names and follow us home to kidnap them. She’s completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 140

Today, while at a store, my stuttering problem became so bad the poor store clerk had to supply my own words for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 684

You deserved it 2 064

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 657

You deserved it 4 165

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 113