Sex, Dogs, Awkward and Animals: Sexy boy

Sexy boy

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 11:56 - United States

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 702

You deserved it 4 229

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Same thing different taste

Warming it up

By Erin - 02/01/2021 20:01

Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 178

Bugging out

By Anonymous - 23/06/2013 04:10 - United States - Seattle

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. Twenty minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 070

You deserved it 7 271

By fetch boy.. - 05/08/2013 05:28 - United States - Bellmore

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 524

You deserved it 18 323

By Noname - 13/03/2009 15:49 - Canada

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 719

You deserved it 12 916

By day001313 - 07/04/2012 04:32 - United States - Albany

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 905

You deserved it 3 351

Good night

By iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles - 12/08/2013 14:30 - United States - Mabank

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 426

You deserved it 4 447

Sweep it under the rug

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 488

By Anonymous - 11/06/2013 02:04 - United States - Plano

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 833

You deserved it 4 544

By Andrew - 24/09/2010 10:22 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 276

You deserved it 4 585

Social reform, please

By Pepsi - 06/09/2020 14:02 - United States

Today, I saw my grandfather kick my dog, who is a 6-pound chihuahua, across the room. When I confronted him about it, he screamed at me for having "too much sex during the apocalypse" and "invading my brain with your pancakes." This man is my legal guardian for 3 more years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 155

Wizardo 33

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:31

"I did not have sexual relations with that blanket" - Senator Dog

BubbleGrunge 18

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:31

You better watch your ass OP! After all, you were cuddling with the dogs lover all night!

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:38

I thought I had the only crazy-ass dog that humped blankets. My dog does the humping backwards. He thrusts the blanket towards his genitals over and over instead of normal humping. My wife thinks the dog is mentally unstable.

hunteryager 18

Wednesday 17 July 2013 17:43

Hahaha, what a visual.

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

Wednesday 17 July 2013 21:04

I mean, every dog has their own personality. Hes just a weird one..love him for it. :)

karpoi 11

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:44

Do all dogs hump things? I might reconsider and get a cat then... lol

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:52

No, my dog used to when she was a puppy but she's since grown out of it. lol

MerrikBarbarian 9

Wednesday 17 July 2013 17:10

Cats do it too sometimes if they are neutered late. In my years of working at a cat sanctuary I've seen two who did it... And felt the need to announce loudly what they were doing by caterwauling... And if you are thinking maybe a bird- they hump too. I've seen a budgie who actually gave himself a bald rump with obsessive perch humping. If you don't want an animal that humps or howls get a female and make sure she is spayed.

perdix 29

Wednesday 17 July 2013 17:38

#16, no, not all dogs hump things. I've never had a dog that humped inanimate objects, but one or two that would go for the occasional leg. The exception is my current dog who humps my arm (no one else's and nothing else), and, oh, yeah, she's a girl!