Health: Shade

Shade

By notastoner - 19/06/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied, "No", he said, "You mean you always look like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 625

You deserved it 5 606

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Same thing different taste

By bakedplum - 01/11/2011 17:52 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 808

You deserved it 23 820

Alexa, play "Tailights Fade" by Buffalo Tom

By Anonymous - 28/11/2021 13:59 - United States - Fredonia

Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 190

By porkabye - 02/08/2014 23:44 - United States - Duluth

Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 497

You deserved it 3 125

Sting

By gimme beer - 13/06/2023 18:00

Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 150

Probable cause

By Anonymous - 21/03/2023 05:00 - United States - Corinth

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 200

By bluehairedfreakgirl - 01/06/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 512

You deserved it 38 722

Staircase wit at the checkout

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 444

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 13:39 - United States - Columbus

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 817

You deserved it 6 065

By Mattrd - 05/02/2013 00:42 - United States

Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 690

You deserved it 3 942

By AndyAnonymous - 27/04/2012 00:04 - United States

Today, I brought several bags of soda cans to the store to cash in. I hadn't shaved, and my coat had fur all over from my cat rubbing on it. The lady in front of me turned around, looked at my bags and me and said, "It's a lot of money people throw away, isn't it?" Apparently, I look homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 817

You deserved it 22 481

MrSassypants 33

Sunday 19 June 2011 16:42

26 it's a shell station own by Sally that sells those seashells at a seashore. She doesnt make much money because well she is selling seashells at a seashore and people can just go to the shore and get the seashells by themselves. So Sally, she started selling soda at her seashell store located by the seashore so she can make more cash.

FlashBurn 13

Sunday 19 June 2011 16:27

Dude, I have a problem with dry eyes and I swear it always looks like I'm stoned. I've even been asked at work! Of course I don't smoke anything, and even passed the drug test. Use eye drops, lol.

Comments

adare 0

Monday 20 June 2011 3:29

Stop saying weed smokers, it's potheads or stoners. -_- Weed smokers sound so freaking stupid

HarleyCycle 0

Monday 20 June 2011 3:30

Soooo you loomed well relaxed? lol

RinaRina 9

Monday 20 June 2011 3:40

guyliner :D more like gayliner (no offence though, i am not a homophobe) bur hell no i would never date a man with makeup... eww...

EmmaLiSylvest 0

Monday 20 June 2011 5:05

that sucks

lakeybalboa 0

Monday 20 June 2011 5:14

97 wants people to see inner beauty cause shes fat

WOLFST3ALTH 0

Monday 20 June 2011 6:14

pop a cap in his dome

KevinTranVA 0

Monday 20 June 2011 6:28

I get that all the time it's ok

elenarox 1

Monday 20 June 2011 11:00

ahaha this is the first FML that actually made me laugh so hard!! too funny!!

Metalman2 0

Monday 20 June 2011 14:13

people sometimes say that about me but they are usually dumb asses at school

TobyFunke 3

Monday 20 June 2011 14:18

he was probably hitting on you and was a stoner himself. after all, he's working at a gas station. if you are a chick, understand that more than half the time a guy/man asks you a stupid or weird sounding question, he's trying to hit on you...