Shy colon

By scared2poop - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Brighton

Today, like many other days, I drove 15 minutes away from my girlfriend's house to poop at the local McDonald's, because I'm too scared of her roommates hearing my extreme noise terror. FML
I agree, your life sucks 17 843
You deserved it 4 005
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Top comments

CheekyRaccoon 27

It has been said that the noises that OP makes while dropping brown bombs are loud enough to scare off a large pack of lions. I've never seen it happen before, but I heard that OP once saved someone about to be mauled by lions. Truly remarkable stuff.

202 1
MisterEx 28

But OP, what about the terror innocent McDonalders will be hearing? Or the walls? Walls have ears too you know! Keep that in mind, and happy pooping.

153 1

Comments

suznmar 16

As the old saying goes: true love is wearing make-up to bed and going down the street to McDonald's to poop

5 0
AdamTodddBrown 11

Everybody ***** bruh. You're gonna have to get over it one of these days.

7 0
cmdd 5

The difference between dating and 20 years of marriage.

9 1
Colon_Man 17

Noise terror + Australia... You're actually a large spider in a trench coat, hat and those glasses with the fake nose and mustache, aren't you, OP? You can't fool us!

4 0
deaddonkey 15

I don't know how well you feel at her place. I would personally rather poop in a friend's house then a public washroom. A horrible twist would be that if you got to McDonalds and the toilet was out of order.

5 0
allforfun 23

For some reason the bathroom scene from Dumb and Dumber comes to mind

2 0
soulreaper12296 28

So you're afraid of her roommates hearing you in a private bathroom but not afraid to have random people in a public bathroom hear you?

4 1
Redgy22 26

I'm sure 5 minutes away would be enough.

1 0
hotmessguy 13

Laying down some TP can completely stop any extreme noise reverberating in the bowl! Try it ???

3 0
manuwish 9

bad gas..you might have to get over yourself someday

0 2