Shy colon

By scared2poop - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Brighton

Today, like many other days, I drove 15 minutes away from my girlfriend's house to poop at the local McDonald's, because I'm too scared of her roommates hearing my extreme noise terror. FML
I agree, your life sucks 17 840
You deserved it 4 004
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Top comments

CheekyRaccoon 27

It has been said that the noises that OP makes while dropping brown bombs are loud enough to scare off a large pack of lions. I've never seen it happen before, but I heard that OP once saved someone about to be mauled by lions. Truly remarkable stuff.

202 1
MisterEx 28

But OP, what about the terror innocent McDonalders will be hearing? Or the walls? Walls have ears too you know! Keep that in mind, and happy pooping.

153 1

Comments

maharb01 17

Golden Buttcheeks, er. . .arches. . . for the win!

0 3
Melodija 19

You can put some toilet paper in the toilet and turn on the tap while you're in the bathroom and that should mask any noises you may make

1 0
tomvertigo 17

I feel your pain, OP. I used to do route work that was a pay-by-the-stop for a living but have an irrational fear of taking the Browns to the Superbowl in public restrooms. I'd drive to a state park that had incredibly private bathrooms no matter where I was to go. I got over this because I just forced myself to go to public ones. It's human nature to poo, don't worry about all the weird noises and smells - apologize if anyone calls you out on it... they're immature if they do anyways!

1 0
lazlowrave 10

Some say, it's sounds like the actual dropping of bombs.

0 0
adonatrix1996 8

I turn the fan on when I poop with my girlfriend in the house.

0 0
RichardPencil 30

You mean the smell is so delightful that the sound is the only problem? Yeah, that's what I thought. Now your drive should be 45 minutes each way.

0 0
Taurus_ChicKa 36

How do you hold it in during that drive?!

0 0