Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Smooth operator

Smooth operator

By Anonymous - 23/06/2019 16:18

Today, my date took nearly 10 minutes to get an erection, had to be shown where the entrance to my vagina was, since he kept missing it and poking me in the thigh, he orgasmed after only 3 thrusts, fell asleep straight away, then an hour later had the nerve to ask if I’d had fun too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 334

You deserved it 597

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Same thing different taste

Quickie

By tina - 22/11/2019 20:00

Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well… penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 689

You deserved it 395

Running gag

By needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 333

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 877

You deserved it 6 151

By Grace - 17/10/2018 03:00

Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 533

You deserved it 1 375

Anticlimax

By Anonymous - 04/07/2022 14:00

Today, after talking to a guy for a month, he finally came over and I totally thought sex with him was going to be amazing. Unfortunately, I did all the work and I didn’t even cum, but he did, then he had the nerves to ask me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 404

I'm gonna come

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 20:00

Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 349

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 422

You deserved it 3 243

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 02:00

Today, for our third date, we watched a romantic movie at my house. The sex scene got me all hot and bothered, so I started holding his hand, massaging his thigh, and even fondling his dick, but when I turned to pounce on him right then and there, the bastard was asleep from boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 438

Bad sex ed

By Sex ed instructor, fuck me - 18/04/2022 06:00

Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 101

You deserved it 795

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 368

You deserved it 34 712

TCRII 29

Sunday 23 June 2019 16:21

Sounds like you deflowered him.

MellyPatrelli 9

Sunday 23 June 2019 20:34

Not always. He could have been really nervous if it was his first time

Comments

TCRII 29

Sunday 23 June 2019 16:21

Sounds like you deflowered him.

PhoenixChick 26

Sunday 23 June 2019 19:54

The part that seems off is taking awhile to get an erection. Isn't the general rule that more inexperienced dudes are more, ahem, eager? Unless we're talking a senior citizen virgin.

MellyPatrelli 9

Sunday 23 June 2019 20:34

Not always. He could have been really nervous if it was his first time

Hempseed 26

Thursday 27 June 2019 4:09

You say that as though you believe that men have any sort of control over whether or not their dick gets hard.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Sunday 23 June 2019 16:38

You were responsible for an amazing night, be proud of that. Look at the positive side of it.

Guy Oakley 8

Sunday 23 June 2019 16:53

Should have taken matters into your own hands then said I did now😂

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 23 June 2019 18:01

He’s probably gay and too polite to reject you.

Shah Rozz 5

Sunday 23 June 2019 18:24

Well tbrh I think you should have told him that he doesn't like did it the right way. How would you have fun.

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 23 June 2019 19:39

Well he's probably was a virgin or really inexperienced don't hold it against him he could be a great guy who just needs practice 😉

mekiswrite 21

Sunday 23 June 2019 20:08

You were still there an hour later?

alycion 38

Monday 24 June 2019 11:07

Maybe it was OP’s place.

Sady_Ct 37

Sunday 23 June 2019 23:17

Maybe he has a malfunction issue and as such has a lack of experience. Either way FHL too.

jbuckets_404 38

Sunday 23 June 2019 23:34

You let him fall asleep after THREE thrusts?! I (were I a woman) would've slapped his silly ass awake and told him to start learning here & now how to give satisfying oral & fingering.... Did it take him 10 mins to get hard (again) after putting on the condom?