Sort yourselves out

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
I agree, your life sucks 605
You deserved it 78
Fête Nationale: Fireworks and Faux Pas
Celebrate the nation with stories where it's not just fireworks that sparkle! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

FluffythePink 21

Crazy people suck big hairy balls. She's just 'marking her territory with the new neighbour'. Start blatantly recording all interactions and reporting them to the cops on the 101 number. When she challenges you about it just tell her that your brother/cousin/sister in law/parents dog is a solicitor and you are gathering the evidence you need to sue the absolute shit out of her for harassment, violating your right to peace and security in your own home, antisocial behaviour and indirect sexual harassment/threatening behaviour by her husband. You can Google the exact laws but it just has to *sound* real to her. Bonus points if you've got the balls to giggle like it's Christmas (not on camera) and tell her that your 'lawyer' reckons they can sue enough money out of her to pay off a good chunk of your mortgage... Crazy picks on people it considers weak, easy targets. Remove that assumption and she should back off with this complete and utter dumbfuckery. If you can afford it or your home insurance offers free legal advice/assistance (mine does, well worth shopping around for a policy that offers it) then enough incidents recorded and reported to 101 should get you a free or low cost cease and desist this bullshit or else letter. If she's crazy enough to escalate after that then with all the evidence and crime reports you should be able to get a copper to stop by and formerly warn her to knock it the **** off or else. Also, don't fall for the Amazon Ring extortion. Eufy (on Amazon) do a fantastic video intercom doorbell that saves everything to an SD card in the plug in door chime. Zero subscription, just the one off purchase price and they do link up CCTV cameras for the back garden too. Remember, bullies are mostly cowards, all you have to do is make her think you're bigger and nastier than her and that legal retaliation is *going* to hurt and she should scuttle off back under her damp rock. 🫂

8 0
Rake 13

keep the water running for a few hours every day. That should sort things out.

4 0

Comments

FluffythePink 21

Crazy people suck big hairy balls. She's just 'marking her territory with the new neighbour'. Start blatantly recording all interactions and reporting them to the cops on the 101 number. When she challenges you about it just tell her that your brother/cousin/sister in law/parents dog is a solicitor and you are gathering the evidence you need to sue the absolute shit out of her for harassment, violating your right to peace and security in your own home, antisocial behaviour and indirect sexual harassment/threatening behaviour by her husband. You can Google the exact laws but it just has to *sound* real to her. Bonus points if you've got the balls to giggle like it's Christmas (not on camera) and tell her that your 'lawyer' reckons they can sue enough money out of her to pay off a good chunk of your mortgage... Crazy picks on people it considers weak, easy targets. Remove that assumption and she should back off with this complete and utter dumbfuckery. If you can afford it or your home insurance offers free legal advice/assistance (mine does, well worth shopping around for a policy that offers it) then enough incidents recorded and reported to 101 should get you a free or low cost cease and desist this bullshit or else letter. If she's crazy enough to escalate after that then with all the evidence and crime reports you should be able to get a copper to stop by and formerly warn her to knock it the **** off or else. Also, don't fall for the Amazon Ring extortion. Eufy (on Amazon) do a fantastic video intercom doorbell that saves everything to an SD card in the plug in door chime. Zero subscription, just the one off purchase price and they do link up CCTV cameras for the back garden too. Remember, bullies are mostly cowards, all you have to do is make her think you're bigger and nastier than her and that legal retaliation is *going* to hurt and she should scuttle off back under her damp rock. 🫂

8 0
Rake 13

keep the water running for a few hours every day. That should sort things out.

4 0
GoogieWithers 22

I was about to comment but the moment above covers everything. Good Luck.

3 0
eellik 10

Not quite sure why being at home or unemployed makes him creepy though...

2 2
Brightside86 30

I kind of feel bad for the husband. WTF is their marriage like that he's that level of desperate for intimacy.

2 1