Intimacy, Sex, Anxiety and Cops: Straight to jail - FML

Straight to jail

By Miss bad decisions - 03/11/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted having public sex. In desperation, I promised the officer he could fuck me if he let us go. Now I've got an extra charge and probably an ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 930

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Same thing different taste

Caught in 4K

By RBergman - 25/04/2015 20:05 - United States - Basin

Spicy

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 819

You deserved it 3 364

Hello hello hello

By Bonnie and Clyde - 08/05/2015 02:18 - United States - Humble

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 092

You deserved it 9 349

By ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall - 10/03/2013 18:50 - Cyprus - Strovolos

Spicy

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 756

You deserved it 4 864

Caught red-handed

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:04

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 723

Smooth criminal

By nickim756 - 13/09/2010 02:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 527

You deserved it 6 239

By loveade11 - 12/01/2010 19:28 - France

Spicy

Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 718

You deserved it 35 589

By DemCherries - 28/03/2017 15:00 - United States - Overland Park

Spicy

Today, at my job as a police officer, I had to arrest my own girlfriend for having sex at Walmart. She tried to get me to let her out on the grounds of being "pretty" and dating me. She wants to continue the relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 272

You deserved it 570

The nerve of some people

By Inga44 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 104

You deserved it 3 775

Adventure time

By Spice gone wrong - 31/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my normally very unadventurous girlfriend decided she wanted to have public sex. We were naked in the back of her car when she saw someone in the distance, had a panic attack, and started screaming uncontrollably. I got arrested because a cop heard the screams and thought I was attacking her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 147

By Khrixas_069 - 18/06/2011 07:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 723

You deserved it 58 670

Next

Top comments

thefmlman2011 36

Saturday 4 November 2023 1:11

legend for the public sex, but idiot for coming onto the police officer.

TomeDr 24

Saturday 4 November 2023 11:12

I wish I could vote YDI more than once. What an idiot!! 🤦‍♀️

Comments

thefmlman2011 36

Saturday 4 November 2023 1:11

legend for the public sex, but idiot for coming onto the police officer.

TomeDr 24

Saturday 4 November 2023 11:12

I wish I could vote YDI more than once. What an idiot!! 🤦‍♀️

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 6 November 2023 5:43

Damn girl. Learn to keep it in your pants until you get home. And don't proposition a cop with sex. Again.

MistressAfrodite 5

Thursday 23 November 2023 8:03

that’s one hell of a panic 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Rake 15

Monday 6 May 2024 6:46

You do know that those **** movies are just made up?

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 650

You deserved it 8 222

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 160

The Top

Today, while at work as a cashier, one lady's total was $1.32. She handed me the dollar, and then apologized. When I looked at her, confused as to what she was sorry about, she went wrist deep into her bra, grabbed some change, and quickly put it into my hand. It was wet and it smelt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 327

You deserved it 2 253

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 350

You deserved it 3 247

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 946

You deserved it 3 595

Today, since I had no lessons until 1 p.m., I headed out to the store to run errands. Our school has a strict policy against leaving the campus during school hours. I returned to a fire drill taking place. The fire assembly point? The student parking lot. All 900 students watched me drive in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 123

You deserved it 36 068

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said, "Good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 438

You deserved it 38 252

Today, my co-worker handed me a note. The note said, "If you can, please take a shower once in a while." The smell was coming from the broken bathroom next to my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 818

You deserved it 2 671