Intimacy: Talk sexy to me

Talk sexy to me

By fed up/turned off - 02/10/2013 05:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 566

You deserved it 6 798

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Same thing different taste

It's the thought that counts

By come on man - 29/11/2014 17:03 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 503

You deserved it 7 445

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 378

You deserved it 17 915

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 871

Dirty room

By love you too honey boo - 13/01/2020 05:00

Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 2 307

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 689

You deserved it 9 297

Blaze it 420

By Anonymous - 03/06/2014 09:46 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 266

You deserved it 17 690

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 783

You deserved it 27 696

What ARE you doing?

By jentea - 05/09/2010 02:22 - Canada

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 359

You deserved it 34 949

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 092

You deserved it 7 768

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 380

You deserved it 355

Pwn17 25

Wednesday 2 October 2013 12:02

You're tearing him apart, Lisa!

ischneid101 4

Wednesday 2 October 2013 12:03

"Oh hi mark!"

Comments

Spark_Slicker 19

Thursday 3 October 2013 3:20

Ahaha. What a story, OP.

Axel5238 29

Thursday 3 October 2013 6:42

I could see this going both ways if he wasn't in the mood there is only so much you can do. However, some think that humor and sex in the bedroom go hand in hand. A fair amount of people also find it a turn off, better question would be most of the time do you try getting him in the mood does he make a joke that just kills the mood for you? Some people always try to put humor in a situation whether it deserves it or not.