Animals, Gross and Roommate: Tasty - FML

Tasty

By Mighty Mouse - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out the coffee mug my housemate uses to thaw dead mice for his snake is the same mug I use for my morning coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 406

You deserved it 506

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Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 21 May 2017 16:22

"The best part of waking up is deadmau5 in your cup™."

Druu 53

Saturday 20 May 2017 3:29

So that's why his snake has been acting all hyper lately!

Comments

enderwiggentaylor 2

Monday 22 May 2017 6:16

**** dude that's not even cool ......

thatslifeiguess7 16

Monday 22 May 2017 11:30

I personally wouldn't have a housemate with a snake but I thought live bait was better

AkaiKitsune 31

Monday 20 November 2017 15:34

Depends on the snake. Some snakes won't take live food and for those who have picky eaters live food might not be the best idea as they would have to make sure the snake has struck and eaten it before walking away. A mouse can do an extraordinary amount of damage if it attacks a snake. Alternatively some snakes won't eat something it knows is dead so you have no choice but to feed live food.

Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Smells Love Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 257

You deserved it 17 461

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 528

You deserved it 5 995

The Top

Today, I was helping a women that was looking for skin care products. She kept commenting on the look and "texture" of my skin in a very creepy and almost hungry fashion. I'm afraid that she wants to skin me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 589

You deserved it 490

Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 206

Today, I received an e-mail from the girls at work. It was an invite to lunch, but it said, "Lunch today at Camber's, PLEASE don't tell Françoise, I don't think any of us can take any more of her!" I'm Françoise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 069

You deserved it 19 465

Today, I finally started feeling better after getting a tooth pulled last week. I also started something else: my period, while I was stuck in the dentist's chair during my follow-up appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 83

Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 529

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 783

You deserved it 4 770