Intimacy: Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop,... - FML

By gerligrl97 - 12/06/2011 18:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 115

You deserved it 12 712

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Same thing different taste

Gone

By december2009 - 04/01/2010 03:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 902

You deserved it 9 978

By ROLLY - 03/03/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 542

You deserved it 3 923

By Anonymous - 28/10/2010 03:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 372

You deserved it 35 065

By Shortround - 30/09/2012 12:56 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 191

You deserved it 2 916

By faded as shit - 27/09/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 612

You deserved it 5 359

By Sad - 28/04/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218 466

You deserved it 15 332

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 04:04 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 046

You deserved it 2 919

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 802

You deserved it 4 072

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 20:23 - Germany

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 904

You deserved it 3 827

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 20:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 191

You deserved it 3 810

Next

Top comments

futtbuck101 1

Sunday 12 June 2011 23:30

you better get that food back

Calyx_fml 21

Sunday 12 June 2011 23:28

Yet you call him your "boyfriend".

Comments

DalekScythe 0

Monday 13 June 2011 3:15

hahaha! you dating a hobo! XD

smexilexi1215 0

Monday 13 June 2011 3:19

hahahaha y dont u breakup with him???!!!

ChuckNorrisBeard 0

Monday 13 June 2011 3:25

get railed!

kyka2008 6

Monday 13 June 2011 3:26

dang tht sucks.

mismonroe 0

Monday 13 June 2011 3:28

And then you took a bat to his windshield...?

Shadow_Phantom 26

Monday 13 June 2011 3:30

I'd definitely call the police...

joeytwix 4

Monday 13 June 2011 3:31

:(

Nyankat5 0

Monday 13 June 2011 3:35

what an ass...sucks along with your virginity :( personally I think YDI for picking him as a boyfriend...

Muwahaha_fml 4

Monday 13 June 2011 3:44

Sounds like a winner to me.

meggs2209 0

Monday 13 June 2011 3:56

since your name is girligirl 97 I'm just assuming you were born in 1997. which would make you 13 or 14. & I hope to God you didn't lose your virginity at that age. BUT maybe I'm wrong. hope so.

IHeartJimi02 0

Monday 13 June 2011 7:14

She's 15. At least she's not 14 but she is still too young.

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The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 4 683

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 135

The Top

Today, same as every other day, I had to pick up around 8 spoons because my cats love to take them and drop them on the floor around my house so they can listen to the noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 554

You deserved it 1 060

Today, while reading out loud in front of my entire class and teacher, I learned that I can't pronounce the word 'success'. It came out as 'sex', and when I tried to correct myself more slowly (multiple times), it came out 'sexsex'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 939

You deserved it 1 213

Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 531

You deserved it 1 832

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 532

You deserved it 4 242

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 322

You deserved it 8 596

Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 821

You deserved it 4 441