Love: Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends,...

By alice5000 - 07/11/2008 05:47 - France

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 467

You deserved it 70 236

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By boringhusband - 08/05/2016 14:29 - United States - Salisbury

Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 724

You deserved it 1 528

Don't drink and drive

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 10:00

Today, after 7 hours of driving, I begged my wife to take over for the last 3 hours. She pulled out a flask and took a long swig, then smirked at me. I drove the rest of the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 138

Lost

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 14:22 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 669

You deserved it 39 408

By Stacy Dee - 20/07/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 357

You deserved it 4 503

Me me me

By fthis - 27/01/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 499

You deserved it 4 355

By Anonymous - 10/11/2012 02:09 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 590

You deserved it 4 538

Random Ass Memory

By Anonymous - 21/12/2021 11:01

Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 4 060

U-turn

By jaimie - 19/03/2011 16:00 - United States

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 869

You deserved it 8 638

Childish but effective

By unhappy wifey - 28/09/2012 06:09 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 441

You deserved it 4 021

Let down

By Anonymous - 27/08/2020 05:01

Today, after having spent two weeks planning my husband's surprise birthday party with his friends and family, we get in the car on the way to "dinner" and he says, "I really hope it's just the two of us tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 349

nwater 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 15:33

wow you must have been tired to **** that up. You should have rolled with it and went to bed.

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 21:41

Whoa. Yeah I side with nwater. If you forgot you were home, you definitely should have gone to bed. People would have bought it.

Comments

FunWriter20 0

Friday 13 February 2009 0:10

I appreciated this moment. It's something I'd do, lol.

michaelscot23 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 1:36

op=retard

yuhhkno 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 6:21

lmfaoo i hope they took that as a hint to leave!

Pokkyun 0

Friday 30 July 2010 20:19

OP= "Think Before You Act" Dumbass.

timistheman 2

Thursday 12 August 2010 17:28

dumbass

fluffyrocka 0

Friday 5 August 2011 6:52

Jesus masturbation- your argument is invalid

nwater 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 15:33

wow you must have been tired to **** that up. You should have rolled with it and went to bed.

jennaleighhh 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 14:20

yeah #14, i dont get it either...

azhein 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 6:41

how do you not get it. she tried making an excuse to leave by saying they had a long drive but they were at their house

BREADEDELF 3

Monday 23 August 2010 22:07

The real question is how #5 replied to #14

bamagrl410 31

Thursday 21 March 2013 6:08

In the old FML days, instead of moderating a comment, they would just delete it all together & therefore people's numbers would become a previous number. So #5 wasn't originally 5.

x0x_KissOfDeath 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 19:54

vdm?

MightyMeganLH 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 23:36

i dont get it...and what is VDM?

mxtn 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 22:49

VDM is the French acronym for FML. VDM came first.

christiner51 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 0:31

What's VDM....And I really don't get this. We are home?? Huh?

chapelsen 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 19:58

It's been about 2 years since this post...maybe you know already, but VDM is the French site (the one fml is based off of). It means Vie De Merde, translating literally to Life Of Crap....

zectni 0

Monday 30 March 2009 4:56

i dont get it eitherr...

Hoplaka 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 7:20

She said she was tired for an excuse to get away from her friends. Not thinking she said," Come on honey, it's a long drive home." But they were already home.