Kids: Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She...

By vkryss13 - 22/06/2015 19:10 - Guam - Tamuning

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 433

You deserved it 2 518

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Same thing different taste

By HttpsHaileyy - 15/06/2015 20:02 - United States

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 795

You deserved it 9 592

By NaniNarcotic - 16/08/2011 10:17 - Australia

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 881

You deserved it 73 493

Damian?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 06:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 116

By scaredofcutouts - 10/10/2012 21:44 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 003

You deserved it 2 327

By GetMeTheDamnBleach - 21/10/2014 19:46 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 519

You deserved it 32 152

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 132

You deserved it 4 928

By Natalie - 02/03/2010 22:05 - Canada

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 428

You deserved it 5 237

By neryc - 04/07/2014 19:41 - United States - Hummelstown

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 455

You deserved it 4 535

By bloody hell - 04/06/2015 05:59 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 3 860

Ninja skills

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 22:00

Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 134

abc2601 20

Tuesday 23 June 2015 0:21

Is the monkey okay?

invadermaythe1st 35

Tuesday 23 June 2015 0:20

Bit over the top...

Comments

bass_ftp 12

Tuesday 23 June 2015 13:36

Good luck with that. I've had a piece for about 18 years now.

DMEN469 14

Tuesday 23 June 2015 15:12

it's your first tattoo. was it worth it?

sorainu 18

Tuesday 23 June 2015 17:38

Been there, I have a piece of graphite stuck in my palm from about a year and a half ago

ShadJV 0

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:37

Should watch where you sit.

scmactor12 1

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:37

Try going 10 years with a piece in your hand.

Domonator 16

Tuesday 23 June 2015 22:03

Try spanking the monkey!

MJS103 15

Wednesday 24 June 2015 1:52

What did the monkey do to you?!

MossyMegaMan 20

Wednesday 24 June 2015 2:39

That reminds me of a time this one asshole from school stabbed me in the leg with his pencil because I bumped into him. Prepare for that graphite to be there for life, because this was two years ago, and it's still there.

pkypereira 11

Wednesday 24 June 2015 4:42

That actually happened to my sister, some kid on the bus stabbed her arm with a pencil. Doctors tried to get the graphite out but couldn't. It's been years and it's still in her arm.

DizzyDreamer90 15

Wednesday 24 June 2015 6:52

One of my older sisters stabbed me with a pencil when we were young.. I still have a gray dot on my arm from it. I think technically it was my first tattoo.