Dumbass

By O-|---<=~ - 18/10/2013 23:01 - United States - Bellingham

Spicy
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 60 900
You deserved it 5 674
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Top comments

Nyx_fml 23

Now wait until he finds out about your vibrator.

857 6
LanceGoodthrust 19

He should really stop and think about whether or not he wants to compare the size of his equipment to a tampon, and claim that the tampon is winning.

760 4

Comments

Nyx_fml 23

Now wait until he finds out about your vibrator.

857 6
\ 28

I like the way OP's boyfriend thinks... although that's a little domineering and invasive.

SokDek 14

...vibrators aren't meant for "entering"

JMichael 25

Or that she also uses her fingers.

40 4
LanceGoodthrust 19

#82, some are, particularly the ones shaped like a penis. You know every time I see that word on a screen or in print, the first thing that pops into my head is, "The pen is what?"

53 3
addioty 19

Lance Goodthrust. Hm.

16 2
tjv3 10

Dude has some major control issues

22 0
weezypanda420 22

Dude sounds controlling and scared his dick is smaller than a tampon... Use a pad and show him what it looks like. he might change his mind.

4 0
LanceGoodthrust 19

He should really stop and think about whether or not he wants to compare the size of his equipment to a tampon, and claim that the tampon is winning.

760 4
\ 28

Reminds me of the FML where OP has an epiphany that her tampon goes deeper into her than her boyfriend does...

126 6
buttcramp 21

you're always right on.

7 42
xXxGraveStonexXx 20

Ask him if he'd rather have you use his dick for a tampon.

77 2
happle 21

And you're complaining that you broke up?

Palirose 22

Derpasaurus... I like that. I shall be using that term from now on.

162 4
\ 28

FML: The birthplace of crazy new insults. :)

21 78
buttcramp 21

**** yes! it's so risky to use a word like that here.. where everyone picks on each other. you came out on top!

8 63
LanceGoodthrust 19

I don't mind being on top, myself, but sometimes I get a little overheated...

38 2
AnthonyWheeler15 24

That's ridiculous, sorry OP l, some guys are extremely ignorant.

107 14
jillytc 23

whats sad is one of my ex's did the same thing to me...

6 10
underscoreguy 8

Maybe he's just insecure that the tampon is bigger than his..

301 5
graceinsheepwear 33

than his tampon?

135 9
cowgirlonacid 4

PENIS! You can say it. This is not a site for modesty.

95 3
AnOriginalName 19

Wait, really #63? ******! .... I feel funny now.

16 61
MsConfusedd 27

Looks like your boyfriend has some serious competition there

164 2
Draconium 8

Only let him enter you five days a month then

253 4
Nyx_fml 23

Even for just one year, that's 12 times too much.

81 3
neverready 25

Don't forget he has to stay in a few hours. And suck it up.

29 1
eddeeezzyy 19

You're dating a child, OP. I'm not implying that you should break up with him, but should really talk to him about his stupid nonsense.

160 1
Kiki242 19

I don't think any conversation could fix this. This is like one of those Ike turner memes.

30 4
Phillies9513 4

Break up with him, that's ridiculous

21 37
hcollins1 18

That sounds like an awesome idea 11! Break up with your otherwise lovely boyfriend OP, just because he freaked out over a tampon! Couples NEVER ever argue, but if they do, they should split because that's bad news! With your logic 11, no one would be dating, married or whatever the case may be because all couples argue, no need to break up over silly little things such as a tampon.

6 17
kingdomgirl94 29

I don't know, if he's jealous of a tampon, imagine how jealous he could be over other things. These are the early signs of insanity man...

14 0
AloysiusWeasley 15

Agreed. What next? No male friends? No going anywhere without his permission? I mean really, if only he's allowed to penetrate her, that means sex toys are off the table, and life isn't worth living without those!

14 1