Love: Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate...

By Anonymous - 25/02/2011 12:17 - Egypt

Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate babysitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 841

You deserved it 5 524

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By JLoRd - 01/02/2009 14:40 - United States

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 839

You deserved it 4 046

By Username - 23/12/2010 10:50

Today, I asked a girl I liked what she was doing tomorrow night. She replied, "Cleaning, so nothing really." I then asked her out to dinner. She declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 989

You deserved it 4 797

By pussyface96 - 19/09/2012 09:27 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 608

You deserved it 44 558

By Mal - 29/10/2010 20:02 - United States

Today, I finally mustered up the guts to ask this girl I like to dinner and a movie. She agreed on the terms that she could bring someone, and I'd said it wouldn't be a problem. When I met up with her a few hours later, I found out she'd brought her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 622

You deserved it 6 737

By ForeverAlone - 03/02/2018 15:00

Today, I asked my crush if she wanted to see a movie with me. She said no because she already saw it. The movie is coming out next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 832

You deserved it 386

Is she Julia Stiles?

By Anonymous - 27/12/2021 01:59 - United States - Weehawken

Today, I asked a girl out. She sent me a whole list of reasons that she hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 167

By Anonymous - 27/07/2013 17:51 - Finland

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 070

You deserved it 8 774

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 682

You deserved it 47 021

By nameless - 12/07/2009 06:45 - United States

Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 286

You deserved it 11 865

By Jake - 28/09/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 940

You deserved it 3 466

lionandthelamb61 9

Friday 25 February 2011 16:02

Maybe next time don't ask out your moms friend?

prinzess_fml 25

Friday 25 February 2011 16:12

At least life is back to normal in Egypt then.

Comments

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Tuesday 5 July 2011 7:03

Maybe she had to babysit that day and she was upset that she couldn't go that day

ledzeppelingirl 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 12:04

Wow that's a good one

Joseee209 1

Tuesday 21 February 2012 8:17

DaVLynn hmu

MyWorldAway 0

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:52

sounds like my soon to be EX BOYFRIEND. IM SICK OF " TAKING CARE OF HIM".

JCal585 8

Tuesday 2 June 2015 3:56

Next! Plenty of fish in the sea

fjsinedniend 15

Wednesday 23 September 2015 7:24

How much older than you is she??

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration ADHD Dogs Animals Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 80

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 242

You deserved it 6 977

The Top

Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 194

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 030

You deserved it 4 838

Today, I've realized that even if I do get financially stable enough to move out, I still won't be able to because my mom's awful fibromyalgia/arthritis combo has gotten to the point where she can barely get out of bed sometimes. It's so bad that my dad and I almost qualify to get paid just to take care of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 70

Today, my boyfriend just told me that his mom told him to break up with me, and that she would pay him to do it. His mom is a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 94

Today, I keep killing flies in my room, probably dozens on a daily basis, and yet every day there seems to be more of them. I have to sleep backwards in my bed so the droning of the fan drowns out the buzzing noise, or else I can't sleep. Even then, I sometimes jump awake when one lands on my ear, which is often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 196

Today, my mom had a breakdown. I found her on the kitchen floor, sober, but naked from the waist down, all her hair cut off with a knife, and eating her way through all our tins of cat food. I wish I could say this was her first time but it’s not, it’s her fourth. I don’t know what to do anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 137

Same thing different taste

Is she Julia Stiles?

Top comments

Comments