Health, Capitalism and Work: Today, I called my boss and said, "I have been awake since 3... - FML

By gb739 - 19/01/2014 17:31 - United States

Today, I called my boss and said, "I have been awake since 3 a.m. throwing up." He replied, "Great, see you at 9." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 318

You deserved it 3 413

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Same thing different taste

Buckethead

By hi! - 17/09/2021 14:00

Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 142

Best time

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 892

You deserved it 35 444

This good enough for ya?

By pukishgirl - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 825

You deserved it 2 958

By Coach - 30/10/2009 13:19 - United States

Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 341

You deserved it 41 627

By Shitty Boss Shitty Job - 15/06/2013 05:41 - United States - Davenport

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 033

You deserved it 6 567

By gothicvamp93 - 04/01/2015 06:46 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 165

You deserved it 2 376

By Anonymous - 21/04/2015 15:40 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 379

You deserved it 2 933

By Courtney - 07/11/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 065

You deserved it 5 236

Lava

By not_fakingit - 22/09/2013 04:26 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 564

You deserved it 11 247

By StupidJob - 01/09/2016 23:23 - United States - Batavia

Today I was home sick from work because my doctor gave me a new pill that made me throw up violently. My boss called. I thought she was checking on me. She fired me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 908

You deserved it 858

Next

Top comments

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 19 January 2011 21:59

At 9AM sharp, march into his office and vomit all over his desk. Then see how long he wants you to stay.

catatonicsleep 17

Wednesday 19 January 2011 21:59

Saying you'd been puking since 3am could imply you'd been out drinking which you would still have to go to work, you should have made it clearer you were sick.

Comments

vbmg152 18

Wednesday 19 January 2011 22:47

You didn't go, did you? My family has had that stomach flu, it's horrible! My son ended up in hospital!! Hope you feel better!!! :-) BTW Your boss sucks!!!

SirEBC 7

Wednesday 19 January 2011 22:51

There is a ghost in your picture.

hazardoussmiles9 22

Thursday 20 January 2011 0:06

I noticed it too xD

onepluszero 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 3:30

explain ghost? I m freaking out man...

tarabelle 7

Thursday 20 January 2011 5:09

holy crap. the ghost in your pic scared the crap outta me.

demarcusT 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 7:18

Wow a haunted 48 year-old born in '98!

AjaxF 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 8:36

I saw it too. . .some freaky shit!

krash99 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 22:52

What piece of work for a boss. I hope you are doing better...

IneffableLullaby 13

Wednesday 19 January 2011 22:55

Your boss sucks. I hope you get better soon, OP. :(

catatonicsleep 17

Wednesday 19 January 2011 23:38

Maybe OP has used up all his sick days...

SirEBC 7

Wednesday 19 January 2011 23:42

Your boss is amazing.

Ninjafriends 1

Thursday 20 January 2011 0:04

...

kaileigh10 2

Thursday 20 January 2011 0:19

LMMFAO!!!

mea_iloveskiing 26

Thursday 20 January 2011 0:40

9 months! lol jk

mrdblack 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 1:03

You work for walmart?

nybsucubos 5

Thursday 20 January 2011 1:19

leave

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Awkward Management Work Poopoo peepee Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, my brother-in-law is a complete toxic asshole who makes me have panic attacks. He nitpicks my house non-stop and always puts me down. I'm a normal, good person, but all I want now is for him to suffer greatly in life for all the horrible things he has said to me and about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 122

Today, I am so sick and tired of watching my brother get everything he wants in life from being a bastard. He does everything I would consider bad and it’s made him rich and successful. I try and be a good person and all it got me is fired, and in danger of losing my car and house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 127

The Top

Today, I bought a Halloween fog machine to make my front yard look spooky. I didn’t realize it would set off my house's fire alarm when I tested it before putting it on the front porch. I ended up outside in full costume while firefighters checked my “haunted” house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 387

Today, I've managed to lock myself in my own bedroom. It won't open no matter what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 380

Today, Southwest officially called off the search for my lost baggage and asked me to file a claim for reimbursement. My bag had $2000 worth of dental instruments, which I won't get any compensation for since the airline doesn't take any liability for valuable items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 490

You deserved it 1 964

Today, the girl I’ve been crushing over for so long told me that I’m a great guy and a catch, but then went on to tell me all about the other guy she’s been sleeping with. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 261

Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 995

You deserved it 297

Today, at 4 a.m., I woke up so I could check out the blood moon. It looked magnificent, so I took a few photos and went back to bed. When I later got up, I noticed the orange street light outside. I’d been admiring a street lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 413