Health, Capitalism and Work: Today, I called my boss and said, "I have been awake since 3... - FML

By gb739 - 19/01/2014 17:31 - United States

Today, I called my boss and said, "I have been awake since 3 a.m. throwing up." He replied, "Great, see you at 9." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 318

You deserved it 3 413

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Same thing different taste

Buckethead

By hi! - 17/09/2021 14:00

Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 142

Best time

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 892

You deserved it 35 444

This good enough for ya?

By pukishgirl - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 825

You deserved it 2 958

By Coach - 30/10/2009 13:19 - United States

Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 341

You deserved it 41 627

By Shitty Boss Shitty Job - 15/06/2013 05:41 - United States - Davenport

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 033

You deserved it 6 567

By gothicvamp93 - 04/01/2015 06:46 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 165

You deserved it 2 376

By Anonymous - 21/04/2015 15:40 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 379

You deserved it 2 933

By Courtney - 07/11/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 065

You deserved it 5 236

Lava

By not_fakingit - 22/09/2013 04:26 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 564

You deserved it 11 247

By StupidJob - 01/09/2016 23:23 - United States - Batavia

Today I was home sick from work because my doctor gave me a new pill that made me throw up violently. My boss called. I thought she was checking on me. She fired me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 908

You deserved it 858

Next

Top comments

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 19 January 2011 21:59

At 9AM sharp, march into his office and vomit all over his desk. Then see how long he wants you to stay.

catatonicsleep 17

Wednesday 19 January 2011 21:59

Saying you'd been puking since 3am could imply you'd been out drinking which you would still have to go to work, you should have made it clearer you were sick.

Comments

c27muskrat 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 4:26

that's when you call him back and say "hell no my husband has two jobs! I don't need this!"

swagerific227 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 7:18

Rochelle FTW I love everybody hates chris :D

supermegan6 1

Thursday 20 January 2011 4:48

what the **** is wrong with that guy?!?! >:

sircyrelle 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 5:10

You're totally sucks!

suckmyassitsmell 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 5:53

Grammar? Ability to form complete sentances? Sense of humor? Boss? Immune system? What the hell are you trying to tell OP?!?!

jumping_duckie 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 19:03

lol 'sentances'

DoctorDictator 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 5:19

Call off and say to your boss... A) **** You, I'm not working, or B) I'm too sick to work.

amarie2009 22

Thursday 20 January 2011 6:10

Go to work, puke on his desk then go home!!!

tom_es 3

Thursday 20 January 2011 7:59

it should teach you to stop asking for permition

maybaybe 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 8:04

I'd hate to have your boss.

ErnieEffinC 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 8:58

agreed

ppriscilla 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 8:33

i agree dont make up excuses that makes you sound irresponsible

NotMyDay92 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 8:52

The way the economy is atm take advantage of work. I know many people who can't even find a job, suck it up princess.

deerescu 1

Thursday 20 January 2011 10:00

hahahah

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Keywords

Family Miscellaneous Cats DIY Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Technology Mental health Health Anxiety Sleep Clumsy Noise Roommate AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 003

You deserved it 42 708

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 136

The Top

Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 047

You deserved it 6 094

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 714

You deserved it 59 057

Today, I was walking back to campus with my boyfriend when we passed an Irish pub called "Fat Belly's." He put his arm around me, patted my stomach, and said "Yay! It's your restaurant!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 230

You deserved it 7 029

Today, a woman I work with asked me out. She is smart, funny, beyond gorgeous, and I’d be a fool to say no. Unfortunately, she has done jail time for smashing her last boyfriend's penis with a bat and he lost a testicle. What do I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 429

You deserved it 304

Today, my brother's life was ripped apart. His wife has chosen to no longer be his wife and is trying to keep his dog as well. My brother has always been proud of his family and hopeful for the future. He will spring back, but this came out of left field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 118

Today, I lost my job due to the coronavirus. I have no way to pay my bills and very few places are hiring just now. My boss tried to make me feel better by saying her husband was just laid off and they'll struggle as well. She has a £120k salary and just got a £30k bonus. Apparently, "we're in the same boat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 160

You deserved it 187