By NRFTW - 17/12/2013 05:10 - United States - Denver

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 260
You deserved it 3 707

NRFTW tells us more.

A little more detail: This guy had wandered over from a party next door. It was almost 1 a.m., and during the holidays I work really late, so I came home, put my stuff away, and when I turned around there was a guy standing literally at my window, on my porch, pissing on my house. I walked out and started screaming at him (I know, probably not smart) to get the **** off of my property. He said, "I'm just takin' a leak," finished his business, zipped up his pants, and leaned against the porch staring at me. That's when my brain caught up with what I was doing and I went back inside and called the cops. My porch runs the length of my (very small) house. The porch is open without a railing, and at this time there were also several other men sitting on my porch right under my bedroom window (closest to my neighbors yard). When I called, Weld County dispatch first told me that the police were "too busy" to come out, and I ended up on the phone with a cop. He asked if the porch was fenced (no) and if it could be seen from the main road (no). I stupidly thought he was trying to locate my house, as it is hard to find. According to the laws in my city, once you ask someone to leave your property and they refuse, it is trespassing. I told them multiple times to leave my property, and one of them had the nerve to tell me "I can sit where ever I want."

Top comments

skittycat213 19

Please tell the police to get their heads out of their asses and do their jobs! Y'know, the one we're paying for with tax money!

He's still damaging your property, so he could be charged with vandalism or a similar offense.

Comments

You could always put a cattle fence around your porch, or stretch one across the wall. People only pee on them once.

devans00 14

If you can safely do it, you should water your porch whenever you want. After all, you don't want to get any illness that can be passed by bodily fluids. Sorry you had yo go through that.

That is a lying cop. If it's private property it's trespassing.They were looking for excuses not to do their jobs. "I am too tired to come out there can anyone else see our negligence no? Okay not coming out then"

Mungolikecandy 19

Looking at Colorado laws they are correct. It could be deemed Third Degree Trespass but that would be a push to prove unless your property had been legally classified as private property and then it is a petty offence. If your property has a fence around it then they most certainly would be committing a first-degree trespass.

That's horrible, your porch is definitely private property!

"It puts its penis in its pants or else it gets the hose again!" Give him a good old fashioned shower!

mary_13 26

That is messed up. The cops should have come but they were probably to busy doing things they thought were more important around the station, Like jerking eachother off . FYL.