By NRFTW - 17/12/2013 05:10 - United States - Denver

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 260
You deserved it 3 707

NRFTW tells us more.

A little more detail: This guy had wandered over from a party next door. It was almost 1 a.m., and during the holidays I work really late, so I came home, put my stuff away, and when I turned around there was a guy standing literally at my window, on my porch, pissing on my house. I walked out and started screaming at him (I know, probably not smart) to get the **** off of my property. He said, "I'm just takin' a leak," finished his business, zipped up his pants, and leaned against the porch staring at me. That's when my brain caught up with what I was doing and I went back inside and called the cops. My porch runs the length of my (very small) house. The porch is open without a railing, and at this time there were also several other men sitting on my porch right under my bedroom window (closest to my neighbors yard). When I called, Weld County dispatch first told me that the police were "too busy" to come out, and I ended up on the phone with a cop. He asked if the porch was fenced (no) and if it could be seen from the main road (no). I stupidly thought he was trying to locate my house, as it is hard to find. According to the laws in my city, once you ask someone to leave your property and they refuse, it is trespassing. I told them multiple times to leave my property, and one of them had the nerve to tell me "I can sit where ever I want."

Top comments

skittycat213 19

Please tell the police to get their heads out of their asses and do their jobs! Y'know, the one we're paying for with tax money!

He's still damaging your property, so he could be charged with vandalism or a similar offense.

Comments

I would find that cops name, where they live and pee on their car, house, porch, whatever was legal according to their stupid laws and just laugh my tail off!

there seems to be 2 groups of people. the shoot his ass (americans) and the use the hose (probably not americans) lol

mariri9206 32

They're not trespassing just because you don't have it fenced? Hmmm, I'm sure your deed that outlines your property lines he's on without being invited can prove otherwise.

That's when you turn on the garden hose and spray your porch

It's considered private property, but not trespassing?

Call them back until you get someone sensible. You may want to get a fence!

Well I guess the cops didn't feel like shooting anyone to death that night. Because they were too busy eating their donuts

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

indecent exposure... that's one way to get the cops involed.