Work: Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl... - FML

By Noname - 16/01/2009 23:19 - Canada

Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 290

You deserved it 45 057

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Same thing different taste

Dating sucks

By Anonymous - 26/02/2023 06:00

Today, I spent three hours cleaning my apartment for a date. I then took a nap, only to wake up to find my cat had destroyed the place. Lucky for me, my date never showed up, and I ended the evening drinking Prosecco while sadly swiping through Tinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 162

By OhNo - 22/01/2016 21:28 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I accidentally stood up my first date ever. How? I spent all of last night cleaning my parents' house for extra spending money to make sure the date went perfect, but I ended up sleeping through the alarm as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 563

You deserved it 3 563

Productive

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 22:00 - Sweden

Today, in an effort to actually be productive for once, I decided to clean out my closet. However, I ended up getting distracted by old photos, started crying over past relationships and dead pets, and didn't end up getting anything done whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 410

By leapple - 14/03/2010 01:17 - United States

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 730

You deserved it 37 307

Lonely but tidy

By anon - 30/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I spent an hour cleaning my apartment because I thought I had a date coming over. Right as they were supposed to arrive, they canceled because they “got too tired.” Now it’s just me, alone in a spotless apartment, watching a terrible documentary on Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 96

Good night, sleep tight

By jjkk - 23/01/2021 05:02

Today, I have been trying to stop sleeping during the day, so I decided to clean my room to keep myself awake. Four hours later, I woke up on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 140

By SharpDressedMan - 13/11/2018 06:00 - United States - Leesburg

Today, I spent almost nine hours cleaning because I was promised I could go to junior prom if my room was cleaned. I missed a dust bunny and couldn't go. I had a date for this, who I'd had a crush on for over a year and barely managed to ask to go with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 122

You deserved it 344

By yourmomsabitch - 25/06/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 548

You deserved it 5 094

Loveshack

By MoodKilled - 04/11/2023 09:00

Today, my girlfriends and I had planned a movie night. When she got home, she took her laptop and some snacks we prepared, and spent the evening playing online games. When I asked if I should wait for her, she told me to go and "watch some shit on Netflix, I don't really care" without looking away from the laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 109

See ya

By marriageblows - 22/01/2012 02:18 - United States

Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 334

You deserved it 3 874

Next

Top comments

Derzimma 2

Tuesday 24 February 2009 16:08

Happened to me the other day.

rxxk 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 4:35

That's sorta what I did today. I planned on studying for my test tomorrow, finish my homework due tomorrow, and make an outline for my website idea. I ended up reading Fmylife for 6 hours straight.

Comments

lonerftl 3

Wednesday 27 May 2009 0:18

Hmm I can't remember me typing that.... oh wait I didn't Just remember "small steps."

xTiDWoPx 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:41

Sounds like me on a good day:)

boarder_140 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 5:12

You need to get laid

siddyslackah 0

Monday 3 January 2011 5:32

gotta get married first

butteredbuns 0

Friday 5 June 2009 4:18

I did that today, aswell.... Fml and fyl

Violet_X 3

Friday 26 June 2009 9:27

Woo video games @! Find a chick to play with you. lol o.o

Shyman4ever 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 0:19

Happens to everyone all the time. But you had a perfect opportunity but you ****** up and YDI

thecure_fml 0

Friday 10 July 2009 23:37

Wow loser

amyrenee2413 0

Friday 24 July 2009 10:05

LOL sorry to laugh, but I do the same everyday!!!

monkey314159 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 0:01

test

Dillon13 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 10:02

LMFAO...I've been supposed to clean my room for the passed like, 3 days. After I clean my room I should be able to go hang out with my friends... I've played video games all day on all of those days.

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Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

The Top

Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher. Apparently, while doing a test, he responded to the question, "Predict how the government will change in the next ten years" with, "I’m not psychic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 164

Today, my boss told me to 'think outside the box'. I did and got lost in a corn maze for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 609

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 172

You deserved it 65 380

Today, after confronting my boyfriend about cheating on me, he confessed to everything. I was caught off guard by his honesty, but not nearly as caught off guard as I was when he eagerly questioned me on when our breakup sex will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 225

You deserved it 3 170

Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 371

You deserved it 41 646

Today, my friend invited me to an afro-indigenous event. Eager to learn more about my roots, I tagged along. The bean bag toss and warrior dance was fun, until the Q&A came and it was clear that the focus wasn't the African diaspora but "consistent ritualized self-improvement." Yup, it's a cult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 213

You deserved it 486