Love and Intimacy: Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday...

By feelsbadman - 12/07/2018 05:00

Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday when she came out of the lift. Too bad she was busy giving someone a blow job and didn’t notice me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 900

You deserved it 614

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/06/2016 04:57 - United States - Frisco

Today, for the first time ever, one of my birthday wishes came true. I wished for my crush to come hang out with me, and she did. I wasted my birthday wish on an awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 534

You deserved it 3 206

By anonymous - 24/06/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 909

You deserved it 3 733

By thefailwhale - 16/06/2012 04:58 - United States - Hartford

Today, it's my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted out, "You too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 033

You deserved it 5 334

Happy?

By SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 692

You deserved it 6 828

By Killme - 13/07/2016 02:10

Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 143

You deserved it 2 122

By LesboLover - 26/06/2019 02:30

Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 922

You deserved it 273

Never leave evidence

By Anonymous - 14/11/2021 02:00

Today, I asked my crush out, after a year of liking her. What did she do? She laughed, took a screenshot of it, and sent it to her friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 143

Wicked game

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 03:00 - Tunisia

Today, I was gonna tell my crush that I love her, but I found out that she has a fiancé. She kept it secret so I would carry on helping her in her studies, like a fool. She was acting like she liked me, but she never did. Now it seems very obvious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 211

Not mine!

By Anonymous - 21/12/2019 18:00

Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 709

You deserved it 244

By Brian - 23/12/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 153

You deserved it 2 470

Leeono 26

Tuesday 12 June 2018 17:08

I agree your life sucks.....as does she.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 12 June 2018 23:31

Oh man, that blows. I mean that sucks! Sorry, I have trouble sizing up a situation. I'll come again when I have something bigger to say.

Comments

Mungolikecandy 19

Thursday 12 July 2018 9:30

She's a classy lady. She used a lift rather than just sucking him off in the bushes.

Davros 12

Thursday 12 July 2018 9:45

HAPPY Bi.....lllooow job?

real life problems 26

Thursday 12 July 2018 11:30

Looks like the elevator wasn't the only thing going down

AngryKitten 24

Thursday 12 July 2018 15:25

Move on and find someone more classy 🤷🏼‍♀️

Rose Fortunato 10

Thursday 12 July 2018 17:25

Well, at least she wasn’t your girlfriend.

openawhole00 6

Thursday 12 July 2018 20:02

Maybe she was pretending to be a salmon...

mas12806 24

Friday 13 July 2018 0:58

That speaks to her character, probably best to find interest in somebody else. I know the feeling :(

ohsnapword 21

Friday 13 July 2018 4:13

Why? He can probably get some from her. I'll show myself out now.

Takegami 22

Friday 13 July 2018 17:09

At least you know now instead of wasting your time on that thot

cornyrob 33

Saturday 14 July 2018 4:18

It would have been very rude to interrupt. I hope you waited until she was done.

sarahfot 12

Saturday 14 July 2018 4:27

😂😂😂

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 6 979

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 118

You deserved it 3 104

The Top

Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 371

Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 130

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 757

You deserved it 3 314

Today, on a first date, he told me I look like his ex's mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 241

You deserved it 953

Today, I scrubbed a spot on a glass window in my house for several minutes. After finally giving up, I realized the spot was on the opposite side of the glass. I wasn't even high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 740

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 841

You deserved it 5 155