Work: Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when...

By Sam - 30/10/2008 14:51 - Canada

Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 219

You deserved it 30 789

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Same thing different taste

Let him cook

By last literate - 27/10/2011 16:15 - Canada

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 371

You deserved it 2 740

By Garry - 04/03/2010 12:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half carving a block of cheese to make cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 983

You deserved it 5 749

By nightfall8705 - 17/08/2017 19:30 - United States - Walhalla

Today, I had to make my boss believe that I was late to work because my sick dog shit all over my bedsheets and I had to clean up the mess before work. The truth is, I don't have a dog, and I wrongly trusted a long fart this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 367

You deserved it 1 155

Whipping boy

By Anonymous - 02/03/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 67

Reviews

By Anonymous - 14/07/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 687

You deserved it 6 235

By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 14:30 - United States - Buffalo

Today, during a meeting with my boss, she explained she's giving me one more chance before she has to fire me. Her reason? I accidentally ordered chicken on a salad last week for a meeting and she feels my performance has gone down the tubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 841

You deserved it 226

Long time coming

By I'm the boss, not you - 26/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 2 383

Scarfing it down

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 406

By Nanda - 14/06/2016 06:03 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my boss hired a new meat cutter because our old one stopped showing up for work. After he put the smock on, I told him what needed to be done. Without saying a word, he walks over to my boss, hands him his smock and says, "I quit." Guess I'm on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 434

You deserved it 1 154

By Cakeman - 08/11/2009 15:03 - United States

Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "It tastes like a s***!" I said. His wife baked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 297

You deserved it 51 800

mister_moops 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 23:07

MAN **** MY LIFE I JUST USED YOUR THINGS PURPOSELY FOR MY OWN BENEFIT

0 3

Monday 16 February 2009 0:53

I don't get it. Why would you barbecue paper?

Comments

albertaboy 7

Sunday 28 August 2011 4:57

Sounds kinky. And painful.

43trauts 14

Tuesday 25 October 2011 14:00

I guess the work the boss did was done really well if it helped made OP's sausages good

stevenmx86 7

Tuesday 25 October 2011 22:38

Moron... I hope you got fired..

cannibal_kitty 4

Friday 13 January 2012 18:44

Wait, what?

make_me_smile 4

Sunday 22 January 2012 6:27

I don't get it and that is not an FML

Countryboy223 9

Friday 1 June 2012 5:36

I'm pretty sure all the shit that is in paper made it taste delicious!!...

tpm45 25

Monday 10 June 2013 19:39

You burnt them without even looking? Stupid.... YDI

cwl727 32

Saturday 15 March 2014 20:15

That was the most confusing FML I have ever read.

ActionFearo 39

Wednesday 24 September 2014 7:57

Use charcoal and a lighter. or paper towels. seriously?

thaqueen_fml 15

Wednesday 29 July 2015 19:50

Was charcoal not an option or...?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I arrived for a job interview and I wanted to give a firm handshake to make a good impression, because apparently that's a thing. I squeezed the interviewer's hand so hard I heard a "crack" and they winced in pain. I'm never taking advice from a random LinkedIn post ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 544

Today, while delivering pizza I was yet again given $0.04 over the total bill and told condescendingly to "keep the change." This happens on every shift. My pay is reduced during deliveries, and I drive my own car, and use my own gas. For $0.04. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 092

You deserved it 814

The Top

Today, my significant other decided it’s safe to travel to Brazil for Christmas break, even though they are heavily impacted by Covid. He doesn't understand for the life of him why we should skip this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 174

Today, I found out my husband only started to date me because he thinks I look like his daughter. She was 5 at that time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 152

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his house. Apparently, I ruined the surprise party he'd planned for me, and now he’s upset with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 119

Today, I had to explain to my 27 year-old sister why a stainless steel fork isn't a good toy for my 8 month-old baby. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 047

You deserved it 1 673

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 530

You deserved it 20 191

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 225

You deserved it 3 641