Animals: Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before...

By NotSpiderman - 31/10/2012 17:09 - United States - Edinburg

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 696

You deserved it 4 620

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 263

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 321

You deserved it 7 652

By terrified - 09/08/2015 03:10 - United States - Forest City

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 411

You deserved it 2 447

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 463

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 024

You deserved it 5 960

Hidden

By fml9124 - 20/09/2019 14:00

Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 176

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 176

You deserved it 4 027

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 223

You deserved it 3 109

By Boyufd - 09/09/2018 03:30

Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 924

You deserved it 238

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Wednesday 31 October 2012 22:14

I don't blame you. Spiders are terrifying.

AGhost5445 25

Wednesday 31 October 2012 22:17

Your dad is a brave man.

Comments

jetsown08 21

Thursday 1 November 2012 2:04

I don't know about you guys, I love poisoning my kids. That's right, all 18 of them.

DudeEvil 22

Thursday 1 November 2012 2:06

Maybe he's just laughing because he's already killed it, and doesn't want to tell you for the fun of it.

teriyakioxo 4

Thursday 1 November 2012 2:16

Same thing here, but I do it with my puppies, because my last dog died from diabetic shock brought on by a recluse bite :(

Catchergmw 5

Thursday 1 November 2012 2:16

You do understand brown recluses are rarely seen outside a dark damp place and they have large Jointed legs

nolgoth 4

Thursday 1 November 2012 2:32

Brown recluse spiders are no joke. Before i got out of the navy in 06 somehow one pf those things got onboard the submarine i was stationed on. One of my friends was bitten on the thumb by it while he was sleeping while we were underway. Thankfully the doc figured out what happened and was able to stop any real damage but my friends thumb is now permanemtly numb as well as the bottom half of his index finger and the area between the two. Never found the spider though

koolkat27 13

Thursday 1 November 2012 2:40

Happy Halloween!

shark_girl 9

Thursday 1 November 2012 2:53

You probably won't see it again. I'm from the ozarks, we had a ton. DON'T go after it holding a shoe or a magazine--it will bite you. Get an insect bomb. It's probably far away now, but knowing for sure it's not in your room will help.

djgoreo 12

Thursday 1 November 2012 3:38

PLEASE MURDER IT BEFORE IT CONTINUES TO REPOPULATE.

naughtylez82 4

Thursday 1 November 2012 4:05

Spiders are the devil on earth. I feel for you op, fyl indeed

guineagirl96 38

Thursday 1 November 2012 4:35

I walked into my bathroom when I was twelve and saw a brown recluse on the ceiling. I was home alone and it freaked me out so I left and did my business elsewhere. When I went to show my dad when he came home, it wAs gone. I still look for spiders on the ceiling whenever I enter a room to this day!