Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't...

By Anonymous - 05/09/2013 19:11 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 394

You deserved it 5 721

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Same thing different taste

By MakeMeASandwich - 10/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with, "Now get back to making sandwiches," your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 338

You deserved it 8 939

Power dynamic

By whole wheat or nothing - 30/12/2022 15:00

Today, my girlfriend viciously chewed me out for not taking a sandwich to work to save money. I don't have a problem with packing lunches, but the store-brand white bread she insists on buying is disgusting. She won't listen to me, and refuses to let me buy anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 330

Too many cooks, etc.

By hazyshadows - 18/03/2020 17:02 - United States - Edmond

Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 204

By xoxo_retailslave420_xoxo - 21/05/2016 12:57 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, a woman threw a sandwich at me, told me to go back to "fucktard island" and demanded to see my manager. All because the mayonnaise sandwich she ordered, shockingly enough, had mayonnaise in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 754

You deserved it 1 159

By Rick - 28/07/2011 10:51 - United States

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 942

You deserved it 5 232

By fuckedbyahipster - 15/06/2013 16:13 - Finland

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 739

You deserved it 2 891

By Anonymous - 05/09/2014 21:54 - United States - Conway

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 637

You deserved it 19 266

Can't win

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, if I don't do work around the house, my girlfriend will call me a lazy pig and yell at me. If I do, she will yell because I didn't do it the right way. If I ask her to clarify the right way, she will call me a dumbass, give useless instructions, and work herself up into yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 258

By epicsandwichartist - 05/05/2011 07:13 - United States

Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 831

You deserved it 3 642

Misheard

By not what she said - 01/06/2020 20:00

Today, I was on a Zoom call. My sister offered to go get lunch and I told her, "Don’t forget the baguettes." One overly sensitive coworker swears I used a derogatory slur that sounds the same. I didn’t. However, I’m still going to be investigated by my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 868

You deserved it 133

jwrin373 7

Friday 6 September 2013 2:32

Just tell her "that's cute now GO MAKE A ******* SANDWICH "

CanadiAnM8 24

Friday 6 September 2013 2:30

You should tell her to stop yelling as it is annoying you and to stop arguing with your god damn opinon.

Comments

singer0421 32

Friday 6 September 2013 2:39

You could've asked politely instead of just stating it

Shrike 23

Friday 6 September 2013 2:41

Reading comprehension isn't your strong point, eh?

strawberrywine22 30

Friday 6 September 2013 4:52

#12, this is the second FML I've seen you comment on while clearly not having read it all the way through. I'd suggest maybe getting a tutor, our perhaps Hooked on Phonics.

AnagenisisZagus 13

Friday 6 September 2013 10:28

Singer, Singer, Singer. For the love of Satan, do read the entire FML. Apologising several times over the same ridiculous mistake does not mean a damn thing. Take our advice and just read the damned thing, eh?

LindsayxMoore 18

Friday 6 September 2013 2:39

tell her to stop pmsing 24/7 and stfu. if you arent commanding her to do anything then she has no reason to bitch. and dont apologize when you are doing nothing wrong.

ball_crusher 4

Sunday 8 September 2013 22:46

because retaliating with actual sexism doesn't make OP look like a pathetic retard.

DocBastard 38

Friday 6 September 2013 2:40

I'm curious how many times you actually say "make a sandwich" in everyday conversation. You make it sound like you purposefully say it several times a day just to piss her off. I hope you do just that. Just to piss her the **** off.