Friends, Drunk, Annoying and Miscellaneous: Great seeing you again

Great seeing you again

By Kristin - 03/01/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 592

You deserved it 3 911

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Wait for the hangover

By Carpet cleaner - 21/02/2012 02:15 - Canada

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 122

You deserved it 2 676

College life

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 990

You deserved it 2 363

Party animal

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 02:04

Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 427

You deserved it 6 089

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 46 983

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 5 406

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 169

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 820

You deserved it 2 839

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 66

By philip708 - 27/08/2015 06:46 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 720

You deserved it 1 824

takeapieandrun 9

Monday 3 January 2011 9:07

At least he pooped in the trashcan...

Argento1301 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:07

sounds like a fun guy

Comments

takeapieandrun 9

Monday 3 January 2011 9:07

At least he pooped in the trashcan...

missjessicaaaa 0

Monday 3 January 2011 10:12

true that! like if he pooped on the floor or on the couch. still an fml thoughhh

SupKev 0

Monday 3 January 2011 12:36

Blame it on the alcohol! haha

tysen97 0

Sunday 16 October 2011 7:26

This sounds like something that could come out of You, Me, and Dupree. WIN

Argento1301 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:07

sounds like a fun guy

jason2468 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:14

ikr

Crncj 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 6:27

bet he reliving the good ol' days

The_Dude_Abides_ 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:09

epic!!!

hudson155 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 2:00

THATS OK OP, I FORGIVE YOU!!!

jordo44 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:09

YDI, sorry. shouldve just left em outside, drunk ppl + 12 am--6 am = some kinda crazy shit.

j_cat187 19

Monday 3 January 2011 9:12

r u suppose 2beable to see ur own comment?

Buchitoo 4

Monday 3 January 2011 9:16

No you are not. If you see it then there's something wrong. :-P

AZMarine 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:19

Either that ^ or drugd will make you think it isnt even there

The_Dude_Abides_ 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:19

if you can see your own comment then it means your comp is infected and you should restore it back to factory condition before you lose all your data!!!

youngclench 0

Monday 3 January 2011 10:53

Seeing your comment is a symptom of corrosive retinas. Visit a doctor man, you should be concerned.

dwdrummerpro 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:14

did he at least wipe after he pooped? that would be pretty gross if he past out with a stinky/shitty butthole.

ajfraser 3

Monday 3 January 2011 10:32

well that would just be a shitty situation wouldn't it? no pun intended

AZMarine 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:14

OP, did your husband truely even get out of that drunk-off-his-ass stage?

JuuuusssstFML 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:22

it's not her husband

mintcar 9

Monday 3 January 2011 9:14

I cannot stand to be around those who drink to the point of complete inebriation. FYL.

unidentified_sta 5

Monday 3 January 2011 9:19

I would imagine that gets easier the more intoxicated the person in question. It is like a hill analogy with the downhill replacing the uphill.

leaannec30 18

Wednesday 22 March 2017 0:30

i agree there comes a time in ones life where growing up should happen and that includes not making an ass out of ones self when drunk. knowing your limit of alcohol consumption generally comes with growing up, or at least it should.