By merissa22 - 01/09/2012 17:37 - United States - Chicago

Today, I found out that the "vines" I was cutting down this morning were actually poison oak. I can only see out of one eye, and I'm virtually unrecognizable due to the facial swelling. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 278
You deserved it 4 172

merissa22 tells us more.

merissa22 5

nothing like a shot in my ass after trying to sum up the courage to go out in public won't help

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Top comments

WCARlover 34

Yeah there's not much to add to this one. I guess since you're virtually unrecognizable this would be the time to go rob a bank?

108 3
SqueakyChipmunk 21

Unrecognizable, you say? Time to streak naked and destroy stuff! Unless you have a birthmark/tattoo/unmistakable genital deformity.

45 2

Comments

CeCe184 17

And yet you can find the strength to post this

3 4
coughyochick 7

Typing takes strength?

0 0
awkward_gothlady 32

Sounds painful. Hope you're feeling better.

1 0
jenniiienyc 5

That's poison ivy.. Poison oak has four leaves.

4 3
hallkchallkc 4

Wow. Better do your research before INCORRECTLY correcting someone. http://poisonoak-id.com/

3 2
jenniiienyc 5

Seriously though, my father has lied to me my whole life about the four leaves. I googled it, and had an epiphany thanks to FML.

5 1
Warmonger_Smurf 29

This could become a good thing after awhile. After a few experiences like yours, I got immune to it. Getting there sucked

0 2
Metallica36176 16

OMG that's horrible! I complain when it gets on my hands, I couldn't imagine my face severely swollen. I'm so sorry :( I suggest (if you haven't already) going and getting prednisone shots (and pills) and anti itch pills ...good luck. Also cool oatmeal baths might be your best friend.

3 0
skullofdarkness 18

Well what kinds of vines were you expecting, Red Vines? Unless you know for a fact that a vine is not poison Ivy or poison oak, it's always best to go under the assumption that it is one of the two.

0 1
Alastrina_fml 20

That really, really sucks. I hope you recover from it soon.

0 1
EricaJoy 0

Yet you could see enough to type up this FML. Yeah, I don't buy it.

0 0
TurquoiseJesus 15

So here is what you are going to want to do. While your face is horribly swollen, go rob a small bank, or commit some other crime you've always wanted to commit. Even if the security cameras catch you, if you hide out for a couple of days until the swelling is gone, you're home free. Just try not to get shot by the cops during the crime. The swelling won't help you then.

1 0