Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend...

By doesnttastegood - 01/02/2010 10:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 646

You deserved it 13 968

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Same thing different taste

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 384

You deserved it 5 246

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 07:18 - Canada

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 359

You deserved it 13 299

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 05:22 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 044

You deserved it 8 604

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 606

You deserved it 15 234

By jinxofsocal - 21/06/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 402

You deserved it 27 538

Manchild

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 05:00

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 386

You deserved it 296

Halitosis

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 288

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 059

You deserved it 906

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 891

You deserved it 37 458

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 140

You deserved it 6 808

Masochistic 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:08

What kind of twisted ritual is that? What compelled him to think that up?

skyeyez9 24

Monday 1 February 2010 16:16

drink lots of prune juice, then fart in his mouth when he's in a deep sleep.

Comments

mrsgilly 0

Friday 5 February 2010 23:48

he sounds like a keeper :)

wouldyoulikefrie 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 0:49

kinkky

blondie007 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 0:57

um I believe I would be pissed off and WTF like why would he do that anyways... omg!!

jfont_fml 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 3:26

THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!! I WANT TO SHAKE HIS HAND!!1

Mimorie17 12

Saturday 6 February 2010 3:42

ur bf is sick.!! lol.! wtf kibd of celebrating is that.?!?!

swkisses5 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 7:53

.....WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! how did u not figure this out before????!!!!?!?!?!? lol thats gross

907girrrrrrrl 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 10:07

Omgash, that totally sucks! What a sick man.

airforce987 20

Saturday 6 February 2010 14:40

**** YEA! I'm gonna start doing this too! sounds fun

sophieeee0ooo 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 14:59

hahhaaa..

pwned613 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 19:37

lol I would have done the same xD.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 616

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 403

The Top

Today, my dad has dementia and has been getting my name wrong with increasing frequency. During one of his lucid moments, he ended up admitting those wrong names are actually of his other 7 kids, my half siblings to various women, 5 in this country and 2 in Europe, but I’m not to tell my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 95

Today, at work, we were told by Wells Fargo that we'll be training our foreign replacements from India. After we train them, we're gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 425

You deserved it 239

Today, I had pizza for lunch, a cheesy burrito and cheese rice for dinner, topped off with a big bowl of ice cream. Three hours later, I puked it all up. I guess you never outgrow lactose intolerance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 1 621

Today, I was late for a meeting. The meeting hall door was made of glass, and it said pull, but in my rush, I pushed the door so hard that it shattered into small pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 459

You deserved it 816

Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 709

You deserved it 10 430

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 374

You deserved it 23 966