Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend...

By doesnttastegood - 01/02/2010 10:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 646

You deserved it 13 968

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 384

You deserved it 5 246

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 07:18 - Canada

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 359

You deserved it 13 299

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 05:22 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 044

You deserved it 8 604

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 606

You deserved it 15 234

By jinxofsocal - 21/06/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 402

You deserved it 27 538

Manchild

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 05:00

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 386

You deserved it 296

Halitosis

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 288

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 059

You deserved it 906

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 891

You deserved it 37 458

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 140

You deserved it 6 808

Masochistic 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:08

What kind of twisted ritual is that? What compelled him to think that up?

skyeyez9 24

Monday 1 February 2010 16:16

drink lots of prune juice, then fart in his mouth when he's in a deep sleep.

Comments

Warslutt 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 3:40

that's f'd up haha

weavernate 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 3:49

you are so lucky

ZeroCharisma 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 4:14

Your revenge is simple. Shave your pubes entirely and keep them until you have the opportunity to make him a sandwich one day. Place pubes in sandwich, making sure they are hidden, and sit back while your boyfriend gets a mouth full of crotch hair. Then break up with him. Any person who would do that to you is a jerk and obviously doesn't really care about you. That is extremely disrespectful and gross. Return the favor.