Miscellaneous: Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake...

By cieee - 13/02/2012 07:09 - United States

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 925

You deserved it 5 072

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Same thing different taste

By bdayboy - 11/01/2011 09:17 - United States

Today, some of my classmates brought cupcakes to celebrate my birthday. I took the leftovers with me after class, and when my mom picked me up from school, she asked, "What are the cupcakes for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 381

You deserved it 2 843

Motherly love

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, my mom texted me, “I just want you to know I love you very much.” Touched, I replied, “I love you too, Mom!” Her next message said, “Oops, wrong person.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 62

By love you too mommy - 27/01/2014 19:26 - United States - Brentwood

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 475

You deserved it 5 291

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I received a text from my mom saying, "We need to talk." I panicked and replied, "What did I do now?" She responded, "I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner, but now I’m curious about what you're hiding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 198

By lol112 - 02/06/2012 12:47 - United States - Monroe Township

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 802

You deserved it 5 471

Good one, thanks

By MarkTheShark - 12/12/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 914

You deserved it 6 864

By idiot - 28/07/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 833

You deserved it 126 220

By Anonymous - 26/07/2012 10:42 - Australia

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 419

You deserved it 2 707

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 425

Classic Mom

By secret - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Ashford

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 454

You deserved it 2 303

kshafer08 7

Monday 13 February 2012 12:02

Mom-1 You-0

Buttsexpirate 9

Monday 13 February 2012 12:04

Haha your mom's pretty hilarious.

Comments

AlexBblah 10

Tuesday 14 February 2012 3:25

Shes so mean. :/ aww

bizarre_ftw 21

Tuesday 14 February 2012 4:36

But then you learn she's serious.....

tamoodielovesmar 1

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:11

the best fml ever.

XxDancerGirlxX 17

Tuesday 14 February 2012 7:17

Your mom's hilarious!

cheesendouche 1

Tuesday 14 February 2012 13:05

I love your mom. does she go both ways?

epokryfky 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 15:17

Ok, that sucks, but your mom...great sense of humor!

Nashiq 8

Tuesday 14 February 2012 17:53

sounds like someone needs a treadmill

Skymone 6

Tuesday 14 February 2012 21:30

Haha, your mom is awesome!!! :D

all4pooh 4

Wednesday 15 February 2012 1:20

I seriously didnt get this at first. Then 5 minutes later...lol

Madz1229 4

Wednesday 15 February 2012 4:14

Now that's a funny moms you have... Lol

Keywords

Health Money Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Social Media Am I overreacting? Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 317

You deserved it 3 896

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 002

You deserved it 6 750

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 085

You deserved it 11 153

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 463

Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 013

You deserved it 11 830

Today, I was talking to a girl online and she stopped talking to me abruptly after seeing my picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 301

You deserved it 778