Miscellaneous: Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some... - FML

By mindlost - 07/01/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 262

You deserved it 29 460

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 18/07/2019 14:00

Today, my wife and I got into an argument. She ran out, yelling. Later, at work, I felt guilty, so I picked up some flowers and a card. When I presented them to her, she looked puzzled. I made the mistake of reminding her about our argument. She is now mad at me, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 008

You deserved it 307

By sillyfox4lyfe - 07/05/2011 07:08 - United States

Today, I realized that I frequently argue with myself and respond back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 140

You deserved it 13 715

By mike4444 - 12/02/2010 18:11 - France

Today, I bought myself a flower for Valentine's Day to be delivered to myself from "Anonymous". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 655

You deserved it 30 480

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 306

You deserved it 4 391

Sussy

By Anonymous - 11/09/2023 07:30

Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 275

By flowerging - 11/04/2013 04:53 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 499

You deserved it 16 270

Denial

By Andre - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 150

You deserved it 32 413

By Noname - 14/02/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 253

You deserved it 4 231

Demanding

By Anonymous - 21/02/2023 14:30 - India

Today, I went out to buy my wife some flowers and a chocolate bar that I overhead she liked the other day. On the way home, I was complimented on the bouquet I chose and feeling pretty good about myself. When I got home it turned out I got the wrong kind of flowers and the wrong percent of dark chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 130

Staircase wit at the checkout

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 444

Next

Top comments

null_fml 11

Thursday 7 January 2010 9:14

To which conclusion did you and yourself come?

girlpenguin 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 9:57

"Dear Mama, I brought you these flowers after an outspoken heated debate with myself. I hope you like them, even if everybody now thinks I'm crazy!"

Comments

trishay 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 13:53

That isn't a good FML.

trishay 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 13:56

I like eating hamsters.

i_love_germany 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 14:31

so what? i do that all the time

jamjenni2774 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 14:37

GET SOME F***ING HELP!!

me5 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 15:29

Was there somebody else around besides the two of you?

KingRDZ 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 15:44

wow why would u put this up? mmmmmmmmmmm FAIL

bitched 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 15:57

no u didnt, ur a phony a big fat phony

Denozo 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 16:18

This FML is lame, old and simply bad. How does this beat the one I sent in days ago: Today, I scored the winning goal in our football grand final match. For the opposing team. FML. Who votes for mine!

Anteezy 7

Thursday 7 January 2010 16:59

Because yours isn't really funny it just shows that you're a retard, not that this fml is funny. : /

Starfire22 5

Thursday 7 January 2010 17:16

I love arguing with myself, I always end up winning...

AliceC_fml 3

Thursday 7 January 2010 17:56

I'd like to know who approved this FML. Cuz it's not funny

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration ADHD Dogs Animals Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 415

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, my idiot of a boss yelled at me because it's physically impossible for me to be in two places at the same time, and that I'm not a magician. He didn't understand that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 718

You deserved it 149

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 457

You deserved it 6 852

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 814

You deserved it 6 287

Today, I had to wave my arms like a maniac as I sat on the toilet at work, otherwise the faulty motion sensor/timer would turn the lights off after about ten seconds. I've had to do this for several days now. No one else has reported this problem, so management won't get it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 155

You deserved it 4 360

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 544

You deserved it 2 560

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. As the cop approached my car, my cat appeared out of nowhere, seemingly jumping out of behind the passenger seat, ran up my arm, and sat on my shoulder with his eyes like satellite dishes. The officer was too busy laughing to give me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 155