Miscellaneous: Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates... - FML

By ProsserBabe11 - 15/04/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 089

You deserved it 2 534

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Keep it in the family

By LY2 - 25/10/2019 02:00

Today, I found out why my boyfriend won't come over anymore. He and my brother apparently had a "thing" before we started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 904

You deserved it 136

By lovehim - 25/01/2011 21:16 - United States

Today, I had to tell my boyfriend to stop inviting his mother on our dates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 109

You deserved it 5 291

Fancy seeing you here!

By tryingnottocare - 06/08/2009 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after being supportive for nearly a year, my brother finally came out of the closet and introduced the family to his new boyfriend. His new boyfriend happens to be my ex-boyfriend. Guess I know why that didn't work out now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 732

You deserved it 4 609

By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 17:04 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I found out my brother doesn't have a problem with "keeping it in the family". It's now up to me to explain why our cousin is pregnant with his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 173

You deserved it 174

Dane Cook? Is that you?

By ShardsOfShame - 26/08/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother why his relationship with a just-turned 18 year-old would be inappropriate. According to him, they’ve been “dating” for two years now but “haven’t had sex or anything.” He’s 39. He got mad at me for calling him a pedophile and smashed my glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 259

Control freak

By fred - 12/09/2023 07:30

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that you can't see a guy you've hooked up with "like a brother." It's not even the first girlfriend I've had to explain this to. Block him or I block you and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 732

What about me?

By Anonymous - 04/04/2021 14:00

Today, my younger brother got in engaged. When we had a conversation about the wedding, he asked why the hell would I be involved with any of it! He used to be my best friend. I don’t know what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 179

Randy old bird

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 674

You deserved it 2 772

By Wenny - 18/01/2009 12:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 421

You deserved it 2 978

By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 05:57 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 529

You deserved it 3 370

Next

Top comments

bbedlock_fml 7

Sunday 15 April 2012 8:31

He sounds lonely. You should set him up on his own dates, and then maybe he won't feel inclined to intrude on yours.

kiran_fml 5

Sunday 15 April 2012 8:29

How awkward

Comments

Remzy27 0

Friday 20 April 2012 3:05

Hangover much?

lemonademixer 7

Monday 30 July 2012 18:13

He sounds lonely get him a girlfriend. Not that it is easy

Roikin 6

Sunday 5 August 2012 8:47

This looks like a job for a girl friend.

fuggotmuggot 14

Monday 6 October 2014 2:21

Well what did you say?

harmony16143 10

Monday 2 February 2015 19:44

My little cousin is 7 and he's always wanting to go out with my boyfriend and I. So, we sit aside a night every week or two to be a 'date night' for us three. Even if we just take him to McDonalds is enough and makes him happy ?

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The Top

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 530

You deserved it 45 198

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 991

You deserved it 3 753

Today, my parents made me quit a school team that I absolutely loved, because women "aren't supposed to play sports." and were worried that if I stayed on the team, I'd develop a manly physique. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 962

You deserved it 2 165

Today, my mother-in-law complained to me about the cost of getting old. She then spent an hour showing me her River Cruise vacation photos from several countries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 592

You deserved it 329

Today, I'm a horse trainer and I started working with a lady's horse. After two hours of hard work and sweat, me and the horse in question are tired and I tell her I'll be back tomorrow. I get to the part where she's supposed to pay me and she says, "Oh! I thought this was free!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 725

You deserved it 1 307

Today, one of my closest friends and I got into a fight. She ended the conversation with, "My grandma just had a stroke. Bye." I didn't believe her so I replied "That's great. Bye." Turns out her Grandma is in the hospital in critical condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 650

You deserved it 57 594

Today, I got the DVD back from a dance concert I did. After watching it, I realised that I had a camel toe through the whole thing. Three and a half hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 780

You deserved it 7 334