Embarrassing and Health: Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing...

By Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 496

You deserved it 6 098

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 055

You deserved it 7 199

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 435

You deserved it 8 585

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 133

Bless you

By Achoo - 31/01/2023 02:30

Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 187

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 140

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 541

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 20:13 - France

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 324

You deserved it 7 577

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 4 504

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 365

You deserved it 8 112

Gross

By maddie - 15/05/2020 05:00

Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 141

Ourstory 3

Friday 1 October 2010 19:05

win!!

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 1 October 2010 19:15

Surprise butt sex?

Comments

grog_fml 3

Saturday 2 October 2010 0:06

was it a nice ass?

1d1r1a1g1o1n 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 0:15

Ten points!

that_guy_ollie 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 0:39

today while at work some pervert shoved his nose in my ass fml

imonaboat79 2

Saturday 2 October 2010 2:10

guess they served two kinds of tossed salads that night.

SmokeMoles 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 2:43

Are you by any chance 3 feet tall?

thefallenoo 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 3:18

oh shit! this is the first fml that has made me laugh in a while!

aidanawesome 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 3:38

and thats bad why?

hyefedyee 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 3:53

how did it smell??

glambert1998 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 4:02

not a smart idea

glambert1998 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 4:04

wow

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I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 216

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I agree, your life sucks 26 013

You deserved it 11 830

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You deserved it 2 844

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I agree, your life sucks 58 804

You deserved it 11 179

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I agree, your life sucks 38 701

You deserved it 18 554