Embarrassing and Health: Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing...

FML for mobile
Free

By Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 505

You deserved it 6 100

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Shyness alert

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 065

You deserved it 7 202

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 437

You deserved it 8 589

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 139

Bless you

By Achoo - 31/01/2023 02:30

Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 193

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 144

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 544

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 20:13 - France

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 330

You deserved it 7 578

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 929

You deserved it 4 507

Hold the line

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 267

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 373

You deserved it 8 114

Ourstory 3

Friday 1 October 2010 19:05

win!!

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 1 October 2010 19:15

Surprise butt sex?

Comments

omfgitsbug 0

Friday 1 October 2010 19:36

now all it needs is a fml under it saying "today, at work, some asshole sneezed in my ass."

azhein 0

Friday 1 October 2010 19:40

my brother always turns toasted me when he sneezes it makes m so mad. he says he doesn't do it in purpose but It's so easy to just put your hand or arm up and cover the sneeze

bigbadtim 7

Saturday 2 October 2010 1:04

How does your brother toast you when he has to sneeze?

The_madmax 23

Friday 20 May 2016 7:15

I think he means towards.

MAGNAVOX 0

Friday 1 October 2010 19:46

I'm 100% sure that op is not a tranny.

lblikk 0

Friday 1 October 2010 19:47

hahahahha!!! no way that is the most amazing thing I've ever read

lblikk 0

Friday 1 October 2010 21:34

uh rude

sYmhaHa 0

Friday 1 October 2010 23:07

Obviously she either wants someone to sneeze in her ass or she wants to sneeze in someone elses ass... What is wrong with this?

sapphirestar 0

Friday 1 October 2010 19:48

Was she hot? xD lol!

Darko21 5

Friday 1 October 2010 19:50

Win fo sho.

blahzz 4

Friday 1 October 2010 19:54

haha. kinky.

McDeath 0

Friday 1 October 2010 20:03

well there was no violence that occured so she must have liked it haha

Stevo12 0

Friday 1 October 2010 20:06

is tired of people who aren't even old enough to have sex saying they are bi, gay, and whatever else there is. If you are ******* 13 and saying your bi, or even if you are 14-15 saying you are bi or gay; **** off already and stop trying to follow the trend of today. 13 year olds can't say they are bi or gay its ******* retarded you're still a baby

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Friday 1 October 2010 21:59

O... k? Where did that come from?!

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Friday 1 October 2010 23:13

So, what you're saying is, if a 13-15yo thinks he's gay, he should come to you for verification?

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Saturday 2 October 2010 2:57

What if a 14 year old thinks he's straight? Is that confirmable before the age of, say, 20?

5t3ff1k4h 44

Saturday 2 October 2010 3:19

100 - You posted at 7:32 PM. If you're 6, that means it's either after your bedtime, or it IS your bedtime. You also shouldn't be on a site called 'fmylife'.