Kids and Health: Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was...

By firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 916

You deserved it 373

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 919

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 3 069

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 03:57 - United States

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 705

You deserved it 5 790

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 562

You deserved it 5 933

By aswamk - 19/12/2015 05:01 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 991

You deserved it 1 714

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 110

I've known for ages

By Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 081

You deserved it 7 183

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 223

You deserved it 3 219

Leave me alone

By emoflowers - 10/04/2012 02:51 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 529

You deserved it 3 342

By Sostupid - 24/01/2011 03:41 - Canada

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 504

You deserved it 8 800

KittyMack 13

Thursday 5 July 2018 15:17

She needs someone to tell her she's a shit friend and a shit person, no pun intended. She needs to look at herself though becaise she is garbage. If her habit of violating your privacy and destroying your dignity is so extreme that you're hiding medical issues, **** that woman's an asshole. Not feeling safe at home; not being able to trust one's own mother to have one's best interest at heart, has the potential to screw a kid up mentally/socially. And for what? To get a giggle out of the gal from next door? It's just not worth damaging your kid for that!

azouwa 26

Thursday 21 June 2018 5:14

Water, fiber, and exercise can help. Avoid cheese. Yogurt is great.

Comments

dexter420 21

Friday 6 July 2018 5:52

Dont leave us hanging

Sinshine 28

Friday 6 July 2018 7:32

I can relate to that. I have long stopped telling my mother anything at all. She goes around telling things to everyone even when I specifically tell her not to and when I find out and complain she goes "It's not a big deal. They can know."

Davros 12

Friday 6 July 2018 9:11

sounds like it was a nuclear shit where if the initial blast doesn't get you the fallout will.

Charlie Given 26

Friday 6 July 2018 16:40

Another simple home remedie is fruit salad, mix 1apple (or pear,plums or Cherry's),1 orange(or other high citrus fruit),and a banana or berries, eat the whole thing in one or two meals, always worked for me and is gentle on ya.

MediocreMan19 18

Friday 6 July 2018 18:49

Your mom sounds like an extremely weird person

openawhole00 6

Saturday 7 July 2018 8:03

I think you're just full of shit

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 8 July 2018 2:56

Why are the laxatives not in the medicine cabinet where they belong?

chris_lillo 15

Sunday 8 July 2018 11:21

Mom's tell eachother everything. Constipation is really not that embarrassing and I highly doubt it is new to any of the moms or makes them look at you any different. That being said it is still for private information and you should talk to your mom to explain how you feel.