Today, I keep a sort of journal, containing both a diary of important...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 10:44 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I keep a sort of journal, containing both a diary of important events and my correspondence with friends and family. Or, that’s what it used to be. This year it’s made up almost exclusively of COVID news and FMLs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 20

Winter: Snow and Funny News
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Babies Kids Family Nice Guys Facebook Social Media Friends Love Work Bosses Weird Smells Transportation Cars Accident Thanksgiving Dogs Poopoo peepee Pregnancy Embarrassing Grandparents Awkward Alcohol Coworkers Scary Animals Annoying Pizza Healthy Lifestyle Health

The Top

Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looked at me, then turned to everyone and said, "But not our Becky! She's more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 393

You deserved it 6 937

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 4 295

The Top

Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 298

You deserved it 2 165

Today, a mother wrote me a $130 check for babysitting her four kids for a few hours. Trying to be gracious, I said, "Wow, thank you, this is very generous!" She thought for a minute, then said, "You're right." She took the check back, ripped it up, and wrote me a new one for $55. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 072

You deserved it 30 747

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 413

You deserved it 19 720

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 153

You deserved it 60 665

Today, during my Zoom PTM my teacher screen-shared his Chrome tab, in which he had opened porn instead of the presentation he had to open, and now mom wants to change my school, where I've been studying in for past 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 141

Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 622