Valentine's slay, Intimate moments and Work: Today, I learnt what my boss meant when he said he would 'get...

By Hello condoms and lube - 09/02/2016 21:53 - United Kingdom - Lewes

Today, I learnt what my boss meant when he said he would 'get his revenge on me' for winning a bet. I have to clean all the rooms that currently have a couple staying in it on February 15th. I don't want to work in a hotel anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 057

You deserved it 1 673

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Same thing different taste

Black balled

By Don't complain about good fortune - 20/02/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 11/08/2011 17:58 - Vietnam

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 4 364

By Pizzaguy - 02/08/2012 16:22 - United States - Dundee

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 200

You deserved it 1 784

Sneaky sneaky...

By Snowflakepandi - 01/09/2017 13:00

Today, while on vacation, I found out that my boyfriend moved out. He had claimed that he couldn't come with me because his boss messed up his time off request, and for the last two days he said he'd been "cleaning". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 463

You deserved it 311

Small world

By Anonymous - 03/11/2023 12:00

Today, I learned that my current boss took my fiancé's virginity back in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 28/01/2011 04:24 - United States

Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 012

You deserved it 2 706

Tight ass

By Paf - 21/09/2021 19:59 - Canada - Whitehorse

Today, after I've been cleaning a hostel 7/7 for free accommodation for a few weeks, and the owner telling me 3 times to take a day off while he was able to do the job, I'm finally leaving. He's now (and only now) asking me to pay for the 3 nights I "didn't work for." FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 101

New life

By jend - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went into work happy about my supervising promotion. When I arrived at work, I realized that only one person had decided to come into work today, which meant I had to clean 15 rooms, and supervise myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 838

You deserved it 3 855

By sick of life - 23/09/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, I called in sick to work for a second day. After months of my boss trying to get me sacked by spreading vicious rumors about me, taunting me into retaliating, and generally making my life a living hell, he finally got his chance. He sent me a text saying, "yeh dont bother son ure fuckin fired." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 721

You deserved it 3 633

Gottem

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 21:07 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 768

You deserved it 6 726

it___happens 12

Wednesday 10 February 2016 7:00

Was winning the bet worth it though?

Mcstud1y 30

Wednesday 10 February 2016 6:59

At least your name signifies you know what you're getting into. Good luck OP

Comments

H2Oworker1 2

Thursday 11 February 2016 0:19

Too bad OP can't spelled the word LEARNED

NicoTaylor1005 18

Thursday 11 February 2016 4:34

Seeing as this is one of the most common Valentines Day jokes, I feel like this is more fake than Iggy Azalea's implants

epilepticloh 20

Thursday 11 February 2016 8:23

In what possible way is this considered a ydi?????

nodai 13

Thursday 11 February 2016 15:56

Okay, resign before the 15th comes around.

shinikageWolf 15

Thursday 11 February 2016 15:56

For life's bleachable moments.

Kristen320 21

Friday 12 February 2016 3:52

Obviously "learned" isn't something you 'learnt'

umadbrobro 8

Friday 12 February 2016 12:25

Have fun with the "national sheets full of cum day "

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 365

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 115

You deserved it 3 104

The Top

Today, when getting off the bus, the driver said he thought I was going to exit from the front. Without thinking, I responded, "Oh no, I'm more of a backdoor kinda girl!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 018

You deserved it 2 066

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 844

You deserved it 3 092

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 117

You deserved it 3 784

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 962

You deserved it 9 066

Today, my friend broke ties with me after I came out of the hospital from attempted suicide. She was the one who called the police for me to go in there in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 327

Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 135

You deserved it 4 147