Exterminators are expensive
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Who needs internet anyway? Or even a house in this case.
I am happy you are still around today to write the fml op you have my respect. If I didn't die from a bite I definitely would from a heart attack Haha spiders are my one weakness and I believe your only option is to nuke the house. Stay safe my friend.
I would grab matches and hairspray and make a flamethrower and burn your house down. You're screwed.
I live in an apartment with a false widow infestation, cousin species, not as toxic. Good thing they have a really bad eyesight forcing them to stay on their web. Males tend to wander around though. I feel you OP.
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Show it anywayRun.
I may not sleep again, and I don't even live there!
Keywords
Who needs internet anyway? Or even a house in this case.
I think a flamethrower is a little bit better of an investment than internet at this point OP.