Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out...

By relievedbutashamed - 22/02/2019 20:00

Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 935

You deserved it 434

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By ParanoidFreak - 31/12/2009 09:31 - United States

Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 944

You deserved it 40 249

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 435

You deserved it 46 317

Easy mistake

By NoFightResponse - 24/04/2009 03:53 - United States

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 252

You deserved it 7 142

Too late

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 13:25 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 255

You deserved it 7 538

Mistaken identity

By Fantastic - 04/03/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I was walking to my car when I saw a large man walking behind me. I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, but the door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. I then realized that it wasn't even my car. As I walked away from it, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 135

You deserved it 48 806

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 764

You deserved it 6 705

By Anonymous - 24/02/2014 15:21 - United States

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 077

You deserved it 51 909

By lance - 12/03/2010 12:10 - Canada

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 311

You deserved it 2 487

Skittish

By maced face - 05/02/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said, "Excuse me…" The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 230

You deserved it 3 536

Smooth criminal

By jack1057 - 12/09/2020 01:01 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was walking to my car from my workplace. When I was about 20 feet from my car, a guy who was clearly on drugs yelled at me and stole my keys and car. Right before leaving the parking lot, he hit a stop sign and then yelled that my car was broken and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 184

bloopaloop 27

Friday 22 February 2019 21:58

That's way too much effort for a fart. We all fart and we all know it. Just step outside, rip it, and go back in. Making the effort to not do it in the room suffices

RichardPencil 30

Friday 22 February 2019 20:06

Most people fear car bombs!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Friday 22 February 2019 20:06

Most people fear car bombs!

bloopaloop 27

Friday 22 February 2019 21:58

That's way too much effort for a fart. We all fart and we all know it. Just step outside, rip it, and go back in. Making the effort to not do it in the room suffices

jbuckets_404 38

Friday 22 February 2019 23:04

Oh, you have one of those organically-sourced car alarms, too?

GamerChickxoxo 16

Friday 22 February 2019 23:21

Why would you go to your car to fart ? why not just fart outside,insted of gas chambering yourself in your car.My coworkers like to walk past busy parts of the building snickering as they fart and yell "drive buy" as everyone else suffers.i work with a bunch of old ladies tho.

alycion 38

Saturday 23 February 2019 10:11

I had a neighbor rip one so loud when I was walking my dog that they scared him and he started barking at them. Perhaps you are related.

protoskore 27

Saturday 23 February 2019 10:39

why not do it in the open air?

chris_lillo 15

Monday 25 February 2019 1:08

This is an FML for that guy, not you

zuckerburg 21

Monday 25 February 2019 12:03

yea, who need a bathroom, right. car-farting is where it's at! and who knows, maybe OP follows up with another FML about how the people she was with needed a ride back.... lol....