Dogs and Animals: Today, I'm locked in a bedroom with two dogs to keep them from...

By noooooo - 21/02/2016 16:03 - United States - Bainbridge

Today, I'm locked in a bedroom with two dogs to keep them from barking at the guy fixing our water heater. One of them is stress-farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 003

You deserved it 2 217

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Same thing different taste

Get out

By This is gonna suck - 24/04/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I have a huge work project which absolutely requires a healthy amount of working at home to get done in time. This wouldn't be a problem normally. Except, thanks to my roommate's noisy dogs, I no longer have a "quiet zone" where I can buckle down on things and not be disturbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 147

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 591

You deserved it 4 010

Noisy boys

By Help - 01/02/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my roommate's dogs dictate where I sleep. When my roommate doesn't work, I get to stay in my bedroom. When he does work, I have to go into the living room because they will bark at me simply because I exist until he comes back. I'm already an insomniac; loud dogs are a little overkill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 160

Get me out

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 20:58 - United Kingdom - Duns

Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 974

You deserved it 9 355

Leaking all over the place

By JR. - 08/08/2020 20:02

Today, my nearly ex-husband called in a panic so I could come rescue the dogs, because he'd called 911 due to a gas leak at the house. I came over, after which the fire department and gas company took a look, and they found the issue. The dog. The dog had farted so bad, it smelled like rotten eggs, and was mistaken for a gas leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 156

By silentbutdeadly - 27/04/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 996

You deserved it 77 617

By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 278

You deserved it 10 126

By op-poopy - 22/04/2011 14:26 - Canada

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 063

You deserved it 2 597

By Keyser Soze - 17/01/2017 09:56

Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 654

You deserved it 1 031

Friends theme music plays

By Anonymous - 24/06/2020 05:01

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 200

LittleGina 8

Monday 22 February 2016 10:04

This is definitely the funniest FML I've seen in a while. It actually made me LOL.

AmberNowaki 21

Monday 22 February 2016 10:02

Hopefully the dogs weren't eating anything that made it smell worse.

Comments

AmberNowaki 21

Monday 22 February 2016 10:02

Hopefully the dogs weren't eating anything that made it smell worse.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 22 February 2016 10:52

You mean like dog food? Is there honestly anything that smells worse than dog farts?

MisterEx 28

Monday 22 February 2016 11:23

Cat urine.

fakedsincerity 32

Monday 22 February 2016 13:25

liver makes dog farts so much worst and stinkier. im sure other foods do too.

AmberNowaki 21

Tuesday 23 February 2016 0:24

Wet do food or any kind of meat makes it worse than ever.

LittleGina 8

Monday 22 February 2016 10:04

This is definitely the funniest FML I've seen in a while. It actually made me LOL.

kayposion 17

Monday 22 February 2016 10:06

that's ruff

a_random_turtle 7

Tuesday 23 February 2016 5:07

leave.

wastedpenguin 14

Monday 22 February 2016 10:09

That's literally me and my dogs

Stxsyh 30

Monday 22 February 2016 12:26

You and your dogs stress-fart, too?

milehigh52 22

Monday 22 February 2016 20:28

I'm really glad that you said literally. I'm sure many of us would've thought you were speaking figuratively without it.

anonymous198913 26

Monday 22 February 2016 10:15

At least, when you get out, everything will smell fresh.

YourGrammarSucks 12

Tuesday 23 February 2016 7:07

Except for OP; OP will smell like dog farts.

__doge__ 15

Monday 22 February 2016 10:28

It might be the guy

AmberNowaki 21

Wednesday 24 February 2016 11:07

That would be pretty hilarious, but I think they wouldn't be able to smell them from there.

brittanywashere 14

Monday 22 February 2016 11:17

Dog farts are the worst. I send my condolences.

suznmar 16

Monday 22 February 2016 11:18

I don't understand why you don't just leave the room and keep the dogs shut away... They're dogs not toddlers

pandemonium307 10

Monday 22 February 2016 11:21

With teeth and claws that made destroy a door...

Brandi_Faith 33

Monday 22 February 2016 15:45

Or they may bark like crazy and it's easier for her to be in there with them to calm them down than have them barking non-stop.

bronz 15

Monday 22 February 2016 11:23

I didn't even know dogs could do this.

SweetestHeart93 18

Monday 22 February 2016 11:41

well at least they arent pooping themselves into a frenzy

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 94

The Top

Today, a mom got pissed at me when I didn’t help her kid after it smacked its face into a table on the train. I got up and walked to a new table while she still yelled at me for 10 minutes. Not my mistake, so maybe watch your own mistakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 151

Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 494

You deserved it 4 155

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 283

You deserved it 3 723

Today, someone left sticky notes with inspirational messages on everyone's locker. Well, almost everyone. My locker was the only one without a note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 609

You deserved it 1 928

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I know him but I'd forgotten his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it, so, thinking I was clever, I said, "How do you spell your name again?" His name is Rob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 129

You deserved it 55 439

Today, travelling in China, I was told to write a wish on a ribbon attached to a stone, and then throw it into a tree. The higher the wish lands, the greater the chance that it’ll come true. My wish landed in a trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 104

Same thing different taste

Get out

Alarm

Noisy boys

Get me out

Leaking all over the place

*Friends theme music plays*

Top comments

Comments

Friends theme music plays