Miscellaneous: Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing...

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 113

You deserved it 3 251

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Same thing different taste

By roomie487 - 06/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 223

You deserved it 4 335

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 04:12 - Australia

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 3 864

By Anonymous - 16/01/2017 17:07

Today, my flatmate wanted to introduce me to his new friend, saying we'd, "get along great". Within the first half hour, she'd used the word "lit" eight times, and dabbed four times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 171

You deserved it 693

By mcullen21 - 12/06/2009 18:50 - United States

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 482

You deserved it 11 718

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 777

You deserved it 12 062

By oreoblizzard619 - 25/09/2012 12:13 - United States

Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 561

You deserved it 3 200

By I hate nasty people - 05/04/2012 16:18 - United States - South Bend

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 842

You deserved it 2 178

Cut short

By Technomage - 27/03/2021 11:01

Today, my first day at the job, I went up to my coworker and began to ask her name. She cut me off and snapped, “I have a name.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 66

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 408

You deserved it 3 899

By Pita - 04/12/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 375

You deserved it 6 577

gunmania0 12

Friday 5 August 2011 23:17

What the hell is your name!?

jake1632 9

Friday 5 August 2011 23:20

Jake..... But I go by Robert

Comments

GamerMaster2041 12

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:28

HELLO luby

MrDbagManSir 3

Sunday 7 August 2011 10:39

Their name is, Mind Your Own God damn Business. Quit being so stupid.

Tristan23 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 20:45

His name is luebence I presume I know a guy with that name coach calls him lube lol

nastenka_fml 0

Monday 8 August 2011 5:40

it could be Luba, a Russian name. quite common actually

Magnimus 4

Monday 8 August 2011 9:18

Stand up for yourself goddamnit. Seriously. So many problems in life would be solved if people stood up for themselves.

SnowWitney 17

Monday 8 August 2011 23:29

Lube Skywalker

Nala2248 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 12:24

Come here so I can rub you on my boyfriend.

ryan2216 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 14:27

good going lube

kyliebear 15

Wednesday 17 August 2011 15:49

Wow, at the moment I'm wondering what the fu*k your name is!

music87 14

Wednesday 24 August 2011 8:05

Is your name Lupe??

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

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Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 031

You deserved it 3 461

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 160

The Top

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 245

Today, my boyfriend has always been a huge fan of war video games. After training for weeks, I challenged him at Battlefield 4. He lost. I lost him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 71

Today, I found out why my boyfriend of over a year is so obsessed with cleaning his entire place before I come over. He's been hiding the ex girlfriend that never moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 2 888

Today, my boyfriend had an appointment he had to wait months for, after he finally agreed to try to figure out what's making him so tired all the time. He slept through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 107

Today, I found out my psycho ex also reads FML. She called me at work, pissed that I'd "publicly humiliated" her on here. I haven't posted about her at all. I'm sure the brick I found thrown through my window a few hours later has nothing to do with her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 750

You deserved it 1 433

Today, I was in a support group talking about how my sister and I were raised in a cult. Never one to be outdone, the loud mouth of the group piped up and scoffed, “Oh please! If it didn’t make the news and no one died, then it wasn’t a cult!” Sorry I wasn’t murdered. It was still abusive as fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 137

Same thing different taste

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

Cut short

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