Miscellaneous: Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was...

By Noname - 08/03/2009 04:28 - United States

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 725

You deserved it 4 489

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Same thing different taste

By firethorn - 20/06/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 099

You deserved it 3 583

Not a geography major

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 22:45 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 364

You deserved it 10 930

By noname - 07/01/2009 11:43 - France

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 651

You deserved it 2 312

Brown and sticky

By Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 165

You deserved it 6 340

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 586

You deserved it 5 314

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 167

You deserved it 2 574

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 180

You deserved it 2 634

By cgold - 30/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 211

You deserved it 8 842

By poppet2010 - 17/01/2010 15:58 - France

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 2 852

By Anonymous - 07/10/2013 15:03 - United States - Houston

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 497

You deserved it 3 694

Yunie_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 12:21

Someone's in a hurry to get those great-grandchildren.

Emika_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 13:37

That's an awesome gift! Where can I buy one?

Comments

Hawthorn 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 16:38

That's actually kinda funny . . .

CherryBomb17 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 16:56

do you have a copy you can scan and send?

MissFortune_fml 0

Friday 20 March 2009 1:54

I'd avoid the areas with the highest percentage. Might be a reason so many of them are single.

Laughing_is_cool 4

Saturday 21 March 2009 5:02

hahahaha thats funny

Hippiechic7 0

Friday 27 March 2009 13:33

Lol @ 9 :) But that's a pretty great gift...I get like socks or a giftcard to blockbuster from my grandparents

Icalasari 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 1:27

That is epic

EffYoLife 14

Thursday 16 April 2009 20:00

OOOOH! Can you make me a copy of that map or tell me where I can get one? LMAO! (im laughing but Im serious! FML)

Gruenmuth 3

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:21

LMAO! that's just awesome

Amandaisdreaming 7

Tuesday 26 May 2009 22:25

"thanks for the help grandpa"

Jari 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 23:43

Subtle as a brick. I'd chuck the book at his head or something after that.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Fat Customers Am I overreacting? Love Social Media Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I realized that I’ve been using the same alarm clock ringtone for so long that I now associate it with pure dread, even when I hear it being used in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 108

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 152

You deserved it 39 590

The Top

Today, I finally finished my art project, which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in first period to give it to my professor. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got 60%. She said I would have had a 100%, except for the giant coffee stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 652

You deserved it 3 495

Today, while barbecuing, I noticed a small black baby spider crawling on my shirt. Then I felt another one crawling on the back of my neck. I still don't know if there were more than two baby spiders on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 112

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 872

You deserved it 3 753

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 840

You deserved it 6 394

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 1 727

Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 445

You deserved it 5 108

Same thing different taste

Not a geography major

Brown and sticky

Lower your expectations

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